So I just opened Lila's homework folder and sweet Mother of God, there's an order form for yet another fundraiser. This one for what is billed the world's finest chocolate. Deluxe Cashew Clusters, Malted Milk Balls, and Mint Meltaways for $5 a pop half of the cash for the school. If my kid sells five boxes, she gets an 8ft rocket balloon! Twenty boxes gets her a crazy hat! Forty boxes? Somebody takes her to lunch in a Hummer limousine!
And what do I get for my trouble? Ten boxes of mediocre chocolate, nasty emails from my fundraising-weary family members, and neighbors who get all, Hide ya wife, hide ya kids, Lila's selling stuff out here again when they see me and the kid coming.
Oh, and about five extra pounds on my birthing hips.
I mean, if Michelle Obama wants to get a handle on America's obesity problem, she should find a way to put the kabash on the endless assault of fundraising order forms shot at us parents at an alarming clip during the course of the school year. We've hawked hard candy and caramel popcorn, along with cheap wrapping paper and corny gift tags, for Christmas. We've pushed tubs of chocolate chip cookie dough for the soccer team. My dresser drawer is full of school and soccer pictures we had taken for the fundraising cause. Lila's got the same nutty smile in all of them. Cute. But I take better pictures with my own camera. Those are free. And I can email them to family for free, too.
And don't even get me started on the Girl Scout cookies. My cabinets are seriously overrun with Trefoils, Do-Si-Do's and some lemon cookie sandwich thingies we bought to help out Lila's Girl Scout troop. Every time I so much as look at them, I gain weight. And I can't fit my grits and pancake mix and peanut butter on the shelves…
I got some ideas on how to make school fundraising less painful for all involved. Want to hear them? Here they go! Click on this link to read the rest of my School Fundraising Sucks post on the MyBrownBaby page at Parenting.com’s Parenting Post.
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.