Do you remember when you and your mate first met? You couldn’t have enough of each other; you remember those days right? Fast forward several years together – not that you want to be shallow or anything, but though the connection between each other has grown, the extra pounds your mate has put on has caused your affection to wane… just a little bit. In addition, the initial throws of passion, the drive and stamina that were once in abundance, also seem to be slowing down. So, while the mind is willing, sometimes the body is simply not as capable of being, um, quite as “creatively active” as it used to be.
You want to get your significant other to exercise, but you’re not sure how to provide the right kind of motivation. Boy, is there help on the way (via these five helpful hints) for you!
Discuss it with your partner
OK, this doesn’t mean nag them or provide some kind of ultimatum. Put yourself on the receiving end of those tactics; have they ever worked for you? Instead, you both should have an open and honest discussion, not just about the physical changes that you’ve noticed, but why it’s important to you that you see your partner in the best possible kind of condition. Be sure to ask your mate how he feels about his overall image and what you can do to be of support.
Work out with your mate
You’d be surprised the kinds of conversations that couples avoid having simply because one is waiting for the other to bring it up. If you’re willing to dish out the, “Honey, we need to talk” statements, be willing to take them too. That said, if you aren’t quite where you used to be, then working out with your partner is a win/win. If you’re already a fitness buff, then use this as an opportunity to spend some quality time together.
Chances are, if your partner wasn’t working out alone before you brought it up, it’s going to be an uphill battle to get her to start, let alone to stick with a workout regimen. Therefore, you may want to provide your mate with some incentives to spark motivation. For example, what kind of films does your mate like on movie night? You both may set the following goal: every time you work out at least three times a week, you will reward each other with a nice movie night out on the weekend (as long as your partner agrees to the terms). Remember, you can not, and should not force this upon your mate; but rather, it’s something you both needs to decide together.
Have more sex
The health benefits of sex are numerous. It relieves stress, it boosts one’s immunity, it reduces pain and the chances for developing prostate cancer. It’s also one of the most beautiful ways to bring/develop/restore intimacy into a relationship. Oh, and another selling point? 30 minutes of sex can burn as much as 85 calories. There are not too many people (especially men) who are going to pass up some good sex, even though it means they have to exercise to do it. That’s definitely something to keep in mind when you’re trying to find ways to get your loved one off of the couch or out of the fridge.
Like anything new that you bring into a relationship, there needs to be time for adjustment. Your partner may have been gung ho during the first week and now she’s back eating fast food and lounging around. Don’t panic, and certainly there’s no need for you to start looking up a do it yourself divorce just yet. One of the best qualities about love is that of patience. Keep your mate encouraged, provide motivation, but be willing to wait to see results. Rome wasn’t built in a day. Rock hard abs weren’t, either.
Kodjo, a fitness enthusiast who is passionate about reducing America’s obesity epidemic, manages a health & wellness blog at www.Kodjoworkout.com, where he writes about home workout and healthy eating. He recently developed a four-week workout program to help people exercise in the comfort of their home. Join Kodjo’s 100,000+ Twitter followers at @Kodjoworkout. This piece appeared originally on Kodjo’s website.
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.