An Open Letter to Sleep (From an Exhausted Parent)

 

By SAM AVERY

Dear Sleep,

My oldest, dearest friend.

Where have you been?

We had it all, me and you. We never left each other’s side—eight hours a night, more at weekends and even the occasional get-together in the afternoon. Sunday’s were our special day when we’d overdose in each other’s dreamy company until we both felt able to start the new week afresh.

Recently you started seeming distant and cold. Was it my fling with Coffee that pushed you away?

You know damn well I was only with her because I was missing you. The more you rejected me the more you pushed me into her beany bosom. There wasn’t a gulp of espresso I took where I didn’t think of you.

Last night you didn’t come home at all. Where the hell were you? I needed you today.

I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap. I’m just so…tired. I can’t think straight. I know what the end of my wits look like now, in graphic HD detail.

I need you here. You can straighten this all out.

Instead you’re out there, cavorting with my friends, the ones without kids. I can’t go on Facebook without reading all the disgusting, sordid details. ‘Lovely lie in today!’ ‘Can’t believe I slept for 10 hours straight!’

You used to do that with me. I feel sick just thinking about it.

I took you for granted, I understand that now. I realize we’ll never have what we used to but please, please come back into my life.

All my love and desperation,

An Exhausted New Parent

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Sam Avery is a new dad to identical twin boys and a stand up comedian. He wanted to be a rock star once but didn’t have the right hair. You can follow his blog at www.the4amfeed.blogspot.com. He also hangs out online on Facebook and Twitter.