#Don’t Judge Me: The MyBrownBaby Confessions

So the other day, a friend of mine took to FaceBook to make a confession and publicly flog herself for being, well, human: She accidentally forgot her son at daycare and remembered only after she got the dreaded, “Um, you gonna come get your kid?” phone call. Of course, she felt terrible like the worst mother ever. But within seconds, she got a gazillion reassurances from her mom friends that she’s a terrific mother and nowhere in her job description does it say she has to be perfect.

Because none of us are. And sometimes it does us all good to be reminded of this.

So, in honor of my friend, I figured I’d kick off The MyBrownBaby Confessions a regular running feature in which we all come clean on our mom screw-ups so that we can a) purge a little; b) see that we’re not the only ones who suck sometimes and; c) laugh and commiserate with one another and lend each other that “Girl been there, done that” shoulder to lean on. I’ll go first:

Last week, when I realized just 15 minutes before the bus came that Lila didn’t have any clean pants to wear to school, I pulled out the least stinky pair from the dirty laundry and let her rock them like they were fresh out of GapKids and I’d just popped the tag. Hey: at least her underwear were clean. #dontjudgeme

Okay go for it: What’s your MyBrownBaby confession? Tell me in the comments section.


(Flickr photo by Sam Cockman for Creative Commons.)

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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. I put my daughter in the bed with me if/when she wakes up before I’m ready to get up; she’s fallen off the bed the past two nights. Thank God there was a comforter pile right next to the bed, even though we have carpet in our room! She cried a little the first time; the second time, she looked at me like “Mommy, now you know you’re wrong for letting me fall off of this bed. Again. Pick me up and don’t let it happen no mo’!”

    Yes, daughter. 🙂 and yes, I did feel terrible the first time; and a bit the second time, but not as much since she didn’t cry… just being honest!

  2. PS: Don’t tell my mother…I feel like she’d freak out if I told her! LOL

  3. My son will be 2 in June and I still let him drink a bottle when he wants it….if that’s not bad enough, last week he started throwing a fit cause he wanted some of my drink (which we don’t do) but I was so tired of hearing him cry that I put a squirt of tea in his bottle so he would think he had it!

  4. I have been having a bad MONTH and I have not felt like taking my child to her swimming lessons – that I paid for. So she just sits and read her book every Tuesday. I am getting myself together. Next week. #I’mpathetic.

  5. Please don’t report me! The kids were taking a bath and I left the bath water running. I usually turn it off after about 2-3 minutes to geth the bubbbles going real good. This time, I started to clean up and totally forgot about the running water. The water overflowed from the tub and all over the floor. The kids were standing up in the tub, wondering what was going on. They aked “momma, why didn’t you turn off the water?”

  6. It’s called the Bedtime Creep. Seems like every week, it gets later and later when we make them go to bed. And even though it might be past 10:30 on a school night, I have a hard time forcing them to bed just when American Idol (which we’ve taped on the DVR) is getting good. So then the next night when we start talking about their bedtime being 8:30 or 9, they look at us like, “Yeah, right. If that’s what you need to believe…”

    • I have to say this would be one of my MAIN confessions. Then, I’ll tell them they’re going to bed a half-hour earlier the next night and I always forget until at least a half-hour AFTER the earlier bedtime I promised them the night before! It’s a neverending cycle of irresponsibility…

  7. #dontjudgeme – My babies are older now (though still living at home with momma) but I let them both sleep with me until they reached close to 6 years old. My excuse? I worked fulltime. They slept better – I slept better. I have no regrets about that decision.

  8. I lost it and kicked a backpack across the room when I nearly tripped on it the other day. “How many times do I have to ask you to put this away?!?” I offered to no one in particular? My son could tell I was fuming. The save? A football went flying out of the unzipped pack, and landed on the couch. “Good one Mom!” he smiled. I felt out of control, and ashamed so the laughter between us seemed to right us both.

  9. Denene,
    Thanks for this. I know we all have those moments. I have done the same as you. How about not even letting them hit the laundry pile if they have no spots? I had to start that one because it’s hard to wash clothes every week. I still have to but if I can cut down on the amount then I’m all for it.

  10. My daughter has eaten chicken nuggets for the last four nights. She’s a super picky eater at three and normally I sit with her and coax her to eat whatever I’ve made for dinner in the evenings, but after working full time and going to school full time I just don’t have the energy to fight with her at the end of the day. So its been chicken nuggets, milk, and strawberries for dessert. I figure she’s not starving so….

    • I can relate to this!!! my daughter is only 18 months and has decided that meat is not her friend. occasionally she will eat it if it comes from daddy, but otherwise she spits it out like gum that lost its flavor. she will eat pasta, potatoes and yogurt. at first when her appetite changed i was completely stressed out, but like you said she’s not starving, so hey go with it!

  11. There is a lot of chaos getting our three little ones quickly and safely in the car when in a busy store parking lot–so I have them get in and get in their seats and I shut the doors so I can unload whatever is in the cart into the car. When I got home, I forgot to buckle one of the kids in the carseat. I am so thankful that nothing happened and that we were only a short drive away. I told him to yell up front if I ever start the car and he’s not buckled in. It is amazing how many times I may have driven off without him totally buckled in. My youngest is still in the carrier seat–but I always check her buckles too–it did happen once that the hubsters unbuckled her to make her more comfortable while shopping and the winter cover was over her so I didn’t see she was unbuckled. My middle child gets strapped in immediately only because she would probably run away! :0) Learn from me–take the extra few minutes to double check your babies when you put them in the car!

  12. #dontjudgeme I logged on to fb, saw this post, and click right over. Last week was so exhausting that on Friday night I let my kids sleep in their school clothing until the following morning…okay they wore them the entire day Saturday too…BUT we didn’t leave the house.

    Hugs and Mocha,

    • I just have to say I chuckled when I read this because as a STRATEGY for sanity in the morning, #1 son puts on (clean) school clothes every night for bed. No struggle in the morning! Granted he usually always is wearing what we call “sweat pants” the drawstring soft kind. (he is in kindergarten) But still…

  13. Hmmm…where to start? Lol. 😉 My big disappointment…when I was taking college courses last year I spent a lot of time on homework and let the discipline slack…not to mention quality time. My daughter would run around the house and get into everything. Let’s just say my hubby wasn’t too happy about the permanent marker on the wall or the crazy bedtime hours…lol. 😉

    • You don’t even wanna know how crazy our sleeping schedule is because hubby and I have our noses dug in work. Our son watches too much TV than we’d like for him to watch. The house ends up in disaster. Bread crumbs, shredded cheese, and cheerios throughout. Just the other day, he got down on the floor and said, “Hello ants, my name is Jayden!” I feel like such a crap parent quite often. *hangs head in shame*

      • Awww it’s ok *pat* I think it’s something that happens to all of us. At least you don’t have roaches the size of lab mice peeking in every now an then *shudder* I hate where I live, seriously. But it hasn’t been as bad since the fat guy upstairs kicked the bucket 😛

  14. OK, I’m still feeling the pangs of guilt from this one. How ’bout I sent my 2 kiddies to school only to get a call on the cell before I arrived at work that school was closed. I totally forgot abt prof development day for teachers! Of course my two brown babies were the only ones whose parents forgot. How enbarassing for them (and me!). smh

    • Melissa, I think you should be proud that you were so focused about getting your kids to school that you forgot about the PG day! 🙂

  15. Denene@MyBrownBaby

    OMG—y’all are FUNNY! I LOVE this feature, and I think I’m going to make it a regular thing. I think it’s interesting to see what we all fret and feel guilty about. I don’t think there’s a single mom on this thread who hasn’t “been there, done that!” Thanks for sharing… and keep ’em coming.

  16. ummm, my 2 year old has 2 cavities, because I’m a Pepsi addict. He wakes up b4 me and tipoes around the house and drinks all the left over cans. (I said I was an addict, acceptance is the first step) Uuugh so now my bad mommy moment is me sitting on his chest, with my finger jammed in his mouth brushing his teeth, while in my meanest mommy voice….if you bite me I’ll….

  17. How about, one time my little one wet his bottom bunk bed…rather than changing his sheets that night, I just washed him up, changed his jammies and said get on the top bunk. I was just too tired, the sheet changing/washing was an extra step that would have to wait until morning. I was already sleep-walking!…#dontjudgeme PLEASE 🙂

    • Safiya'smommy

      Ummmmmm, at least you did that……..I just put a towel over the wet spot and let her go back to sleep!!..Thank God for plastic mattress covers…..

      • OMG, I have done this several times and the worse part is, it’s in my own bed. I sleep with my 15 month old and a few times when his diaper leaked, I changed it, put a blanket over the spot and we went back to sleep.

  18. I have so many… where do I start? LOL. I’m not a morning person so I almost always pretend to be sleeping when my son wakes up earlier than me. He’ll call out for me, and I’ll just lay there until he says to himself, “Mommy is sleeping. It’s not time to wake up yet.”

    BTW… I’ve taken the cleanest looking dirty jeans out of the bottom of my son’s hamper before. But i sent him out of the room to go “get something” so that he didn’t see it was coming out of the hamper and not the closet. LOL.

  19. …and we let him eat whatever he wants all day long whether it’s bread and ketchup, nuggets, cheese, or Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Just sat down somewhere, chile!

  20. I love this btw..
    I will have to chime in on the broken bedtimes and eating chicken nuggets stories 🙂 My husband and I are night workers so my son goes to bed around 2am, thank god preschool is next year, he has no schedule. I play dvd’s for him so much now he knows how to change it himself…and since he is a picky eater sometimes all he eats is chicken nuggets ugh #dontjudgeme

  21. I confess that I allow my little one to watch a lot of Nick Jr. (I’m with Sheena with the On Demand) Dang, I can’t get crap done otherwise. I also spy on my teenager’s FB account. Hell, it’s my right to be a smart parent! Thankfully I have not found anything questionable.

  22. Both of my kids were constipated and uncomfortable. This had never happened before, and I gave them half a dose of miralax before bed. It didn’t do anything and they were still uncomfortable, so I gave them another half a dose before school. Not smart. They came home from school asking “What did you give us???” I asked what happened. The third grader said he was using the restroom and someone else in the restroom said “What is wrong with that kid in there? He sounds sick.” My first grader got in trouble for having to use the bathroom too many times in one day. I felt like Mom of the Year.

    • Leo the Yardie Chick

      “My first grader got in trouble for having to use the bathroom too many times in one day.”

      Wait, they punish children for that? Wow. O_O

  23. My confessions? My daughter has seen more than her fair share of dead bodies and skeletons on TV thanks to my addiction to Bones. I’m usually so into the show that I’ll just tell her “close your eyes” on the gory parts. But I know she’s seen a few skulls and such. Bad mommy!

    And if you ever needed proof that I’m a lazy cook, if you ask my daughter what she wants for dinner, chances are she’ll say Pizza Hut or Taco Bell because we eat out for dinner so often. And she’ll look at me sideways when I tell her we’re going to cook at home. To be fair, we’ve been doing a lot better recently, but we still have a long way to go!

    • I think we were separated at birth. I could have written this exact thing if you replace Pizza Hut and Taco Bell with Big Cheese Pizza and Wendy’s. When I pulled myself out of the grip of the drive-thru and started cooking it did not go over well. You are not alone.

  24. Oh…and I STILL haven’t paid for the school pictures my daughter got in the fall. I just keep forgetting to go to the stupid online link and pay for them. I wonder if school photographers put parents into collection…

    • We still haven’t paid for the picture they took in the hospital. That was 3yrs ago! *SMH*

      To our defense, they got our debit card numbers mixed up on the order form, so the payment failed.

  25. I’m guilty of too much TV too! It’s always PBS or qubo though. And I’d never get housework done otherwise. He’s only one and a half, but hopefully will be outside more once he’s older. I think there were more people at home when I was younger; now the grandparents have to work. Everyone has less time to spend playing 🙁

  26. I let my kids see video games that are not appropriate. My 3 y/o likes to stand there and yell “take that, zombies!”.

    • I’m right there with you. My child likes to sit there and watch his father play. I don’t say anything because it’s daddy and son quality time. Now my 4 year old son can kick my butt in Marvel vs Capcon. Also he does not flinch or turn away watching a beat down/ zombie killing spree/sword or gun fight.

      We were reading Pochantas and one of the Indian warrior got shot. My son was mad because he wanted to see the leg with the wound. SMH #pleasedontjudgeme

  27. Well I sometimes forget to buckle my oldest in the carseat. I have 3 under 5 n my oldest cries when forget.

    I have gone a few days w no bath for my boys 🙁 and my oldest has missed school bc I just didn’t wanna drive him.

    oh I cloth diaper and found a GREAT diaper that I don’t “have to” change every 3 hrs and I find myself pushing the diapers to the max..8 plus hrs sometimes :/

  28. I’m 29 wks pregnant with our second child, and so tired all the time. My 2 yr old and I were sitting in bed watching The Cat in the Hat and I fell asleep. I awoke to dear son dumping a bag full of pretzels on my head going “mommy, get outta bed! Mommy, time to get out of there!” I feel shamefully lazy 🙁

  29. I read through all of these and love this!

    Please don’t judge me, but today while getting 6 kids ready to go to the movies I threatened to throw someone’s shirt away if they don’t keep it on. I felt bad later, the poor child believes I might do it.

  30. Well, I developed a serious aversion to laundry. I would do one load a week after we took our clothes straight off and put them in the washer. I started buying new underwear and socks just to avoid it. Before long I had 7 loads backed up. When I finally got caught up I found clothes my son had outgrown while they were dirty. My 7 year-old now has over 50 pair of underwear and my one year-old has duplicate pairs of severl of his pj’s and of course, I am out of space to store clothes.

  31. Monica Roberts

    I left my high schooler at school (before he was driving himself). I let time slip away from me (I was either running tons of errands and lost track of time or I was home on my computer) and my son called me on my cell phone and said, “Are you coming to get me?” I looked at the time and profusely apologized. I hadn’t ever done that before and felt a little bad. He’s so used to me picking him up on time or shortly after that he was like, “Mom, what were you doing and where were you at? You totally forgot about me.”

  32. Kia Morgan Smith

    Awwwww DENENE! i AM JUST SEEING THIS FOR THE FIRST TIME! Thank you my friend…

  33. I totally forgot my son’s 2 month doctor appointment. I felt terrible because he was due to get his first set of vaccines and in my irrational mom mind I just knew he was going to contract some life threatening illness because he did not get his shots on the scheduled date. #sonotperfect

    • My kids are older but I forgot both of my kids well check ups last year. I really didn’t forget I just kept putting off calling. I had the same fear, that they were due for vaccines and the doctor would stare at me and call me a bad mother 🙂

  34. LUV this!!
    I’m currently 31 wks preggo w/my second child and b/c I so tired most of the time I let my son “win” alot of his battles. Our current war is him drinking his own bath water. My belly is getting in the way of bending over the tub going after him, it’s so sad that now i just let him go at it. he even has a cup! #Don’tJudgeMe!

  35. We were about 8 hours into a 12 hour car trip when my daughters would not stop fighting over a cheap stuffed monkey the older one had won at an arcade. After telling them to knock it off what felt like a hundred times, I grabbed the monkey and threw it out the window. Don’t judge me!

  36. Lol this is all so hilarious and true……………… the towel when the bed gets wet, the dirty clothes wear over guilty there too and so so many i like this site lol

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