That Psychology Today Blog May Say Black Girls Are Ugly, But My Baby Knows Better

After all that yang poppin’ last week over the foolish “study” that claimed black women are the ugliest of all human beings on the planet, and the subsequent outpouring of support over the MyBrownBaby post, “The Attack Against Black Girl Beauty,” I came across this poem, written by my beautiful, chocolate drop, Mari. She is, simply, amazing, and her words assure me that no matter what idiot tries to make her think she’s a lesser than, the work Nick and I are putting in to remind her she’s the straight fire is paying off. Witness her piece, “I Am.”



By Mari Chiles

I am adventurous and creative

I wonder if I will ever be brave enough to sky dive

I want to be able to travel the world

I pretend that I am not nervous

When I really am

I worry that bad things can happen to the world

Because of the environment

I cry when relatives die and when I think of passed relatives

I am adventurous and creative.


I understand that not all people can get along

I say a white canvas

Is full of possibilities

I dream of seeing the world and trying new things

From other cultures

I try to do well as a child so I can grow up

And do great things

I hope I will be known for doing something great

I am adventurous and creative

I am Mari Chiles


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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. My co-workers and I talked about this incident yesterday at work. Thank you for this post. I am going to send it to my co-workers!!!

  2. Baby Girl is AWESOME

  3. Beautiful. You and your hubby are raising an amazing girl. She really is an inspiration to my daughters. I was full of despair when I heard about that study, but when I read what you had to say, I was filled with determination. Keep up the good work Denene. From, lonwithluv

  4. *fist bump to Baby Girl* She’s like my girls, full of confidence, love it. Y’all are doing a wonderful job.

  5. Well that is just beautiful!. You guys are on the right track. No worries.

  6. Can we get that on a canvas, or at least on a T-shirt?

    Doesn’t it make you want to high-five God when your babies show you just how divine they actually are? I know you shivered when you first read that, and I’m thankful you shared her wisdom, sensitivity, and connectedness with us.

    The world needs girls like Mari to keep writing/sharing/showing just how incredible our girls already are! *Goosebumps*

  7. Nana Eyeson-Akiwowo

    Denene you and Nick are doing a marvelous job and I only pray that when God blesses Aki and I with our very own little brown baby that we will be great parents like you and Nick. The babies have grown so much and I appreciate you sharing them and your parenting expericences with us –Love you much

  8. wonderful, powerful and awesome!

  9. Out of the mouth of babies…words of wisdom. Thank God for beautiful, strong young women.

  10. Beautiful! Inside AND out! A shining glimpse into the phenomenal woman your little girl will someday be. I know you must be so proud 🙂

  11. Amen dear Mari! Amen!

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