Shit White Girls Say To Black Girls Is The Truth.Com

I promise you, this video gave me life yesterday. I mean, I hollered and laughed so hard, my Mari paused her favorite movie to rush over and check to see if I was all right. That’s how funny and dead-on Shit White Girls Say… To Black Girls is.

The video is the latest in a series of satirical comedy sketches spurred by Shit Girls Say, a YouTube sensation in which some guy dresses up like a woman and pokes fun at the way we communicate. Similar videos aimed at white men, black women, black men, single moms, gay southern guys and others quickly followed—each of them alternately stereotyping and revealing some truths about the minds of humans and the messages we wrap up in our words.

None of them resonated more for me than Shit White Girls Say… To Black Girls—and, if my personal Facebook page is any indication, there are plenty more black women who feel the same. African American women were doing e-fallouts and handing out e-high-fives all day and through the night over comedian/actress Franchesca Ramsey’s comical commentary on the subtleties of white girl cluelessness when it comes to interactions with black girls. With a blonde wig tottering atop her head, Ramsey pulls on a cigarette as she launches a sequence of casually insulting observations at her black girlfriend, like “Why is my computer acting so ghetto?,” and “Why isn’t there a White Entertainment Television.” Of course there’s the perennial, “Can I touch it?,” bit—the question Ramsey’s character asks after she’s already put her hands in her black friend’s natural hair.

Ramsey wrote in a HuffingtonPost piece that the video was inspired by her years of experience as the “token black girl” in her circle of white friends, “which came with a whole host of awkward questions and first experiences for my peers.” She notes that dealing with the faux pas of her white friends is always a tricky proposition: “If I get upset, I could quickly be labeled the ‘angry black girl.’ But if I don’t say anything or react too passively, I risk giving friends and acquaintances permission to continue crossing the line.” She made the parody to “make all people laugh while, hopefully, opening some eyes and encouraging some of my white friends and acquaintances to think twice before they treat their black friends and associates like petting zoo animals or expect us to be spokespeople for the entire race.”

While Ramsey’s video pokes fun at a much more modern and younger white girl—her character is a Facebook stalking, Nikki Minaj fan—I can personally attest to the fact that this madness has been going on since at least 1978, when my new white neighbor, Susan, ran her fingers across my afro puff and told me I looked like “Dee” from What’s Happening? O_o. And it continues today, even now that I’m a grown woman. As noted by one of my Facebook buddies: “The comments are only slightly different as we age and serve on the PTA, girl scouts & room parent together. I hope they can laugh at themselves, become enlightened and we can all have a The View moment.”

Not sure that laughing part will happen. But here’s to hoping that Shit White Girls Say… To Black Girls at least gives a little food for thought. Thankfully, my daughters haven’t had to face this head on—a testament to the fact that they are surrounded by friends of all colors, cultures and backgrounds, with mamas who are around enough black women to know there are just some things you don’t say, do or assume about people of color. Of course, my girls don’t live in a bubble, so I know they’ll eventually have to endure the inevitable questions/comments/actions of those who don’t look like or make assumptions about them. They know the drill: if it comes from someone you know and like and it offends you, say that. If it comes from someone you don’t know and don’t care for and it offends you, say that, too. But maybe not as nicely. And then get on with your life. Because it’s too short to get your blood pressure up over the stupidity of others.


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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. Okay. I laughed so hard I could have went into labor! As a “token black girl” who lived with 13 white roommates in a scholarship house at college I can give testimony! I personally had to field ?s about BET, my hair, etc…
    Thanks for sharing!

  2. As a white woman, I laughed. And I thought, oh shit, I think I’ve said some of those in the past. Watching the video, reading the Huffington Post article and comments, and seeing it again here, have made me stop and think about how my curiosity about something different can make someone else uncomfortable. I’ll definitely think about this if I find myself feeling curious again. And thanks for sharing in a way that is inclusive. I always enjoy the postings here and I’ve gained understanding that hopefully leads to more compassion and inclusion when I deal with others who are different than I am.

  3. The one I always had the hardest time explaining was why there is no WET (like BET). The question always stumped me so I almost lost my lunch when she said that! yes indeed, a true LOL!

    She missed one about the hair though. I had several white girls/boys tell me that black hair doesn’t get wet…..I made everyone sit in my dorm room and went to take a shower, dressed came back and held CHRUCH to break that stereotype down. We had a good laugh about it at our 5 year college reunion so I guess we had our The View moment 🙂

  4. This is point on and so true. I played it over and over again. I could not stop laughing.

  5. I have probably watched it 5 times already – each time is funnier than the next!

  6. That made me laugh until I nearly cried!! I loved the white girl touching the black girl’s hair. I was stalked in college by one particular white girl for 7 semesters. It was quite creepy and disturbing actually. I managed to duck and dodge her reaching/grasping hands until one day during my final semester, as I had an armload of research material in my hands, she finally cornered me and touched my hair (she did ask to touch it AS she was reaching to touch me. Ever heard of getting permission first?!). She recoiled after touching my hair and stared at her hand and replied in a startled and incredulous tone, ‘BUT, but its so, so SOFT!?!’ Apparently she thought my hair would jump out and bite her or would feel like Medusa’s living serpent hair. Anyway, I dropped a ton of books on her feet and asked her to stay the heck of my personal space and never touch me again.

    Pret sure that young lady and I are NOT gonna have our The View moment. LOL!

  7. I can’t take it!! *rotfl*

  8. I am so relieved that I have not said any of these! Whew! :0) I am so annoyed at the amount of people who touch my brown baby’s hair ALL THE TIME and say many of these comments! Any advice in how to respond to this…politely? haha!

  9. I am so relieved that I have not said any of these! Whew! :0) I am so annoyed at the amount of people who touch my brown baby’s hair ALL THE TIME and say many of these comments! Any advice in how to respond to this…politely? haha!

  10. I posted this on my FB and every white girl who liked it or commented on it, interestingly enough, had never said those phrases(at least to me). The ones who had said those things to me and always comment on my FB were strangely silent…things that make you go hmmmm

  11. This is so funny! I shared with my daughter, and can’t wait to share it with my class on Monday!

  12. I got the hair grab (ppl love to touch natural hair), the jew comment (from a jew. we were discussing some of the issues w/in our respective communities…LOL) and the ‘You’re not like other black people’ comment to my face. Then the girl smiled as if I should be flattered.
    White people just ‘say things’. Sometimes, they get to talking. They forget where they are. The filter comes off…
    Y’know how it is. LOL

    I understand, though. When I was a young girl, I assumed that all white people were rich and happy. I told her as much, too.
    She laughed. “What…?” It was ridiculous to her.
    I said, “Seriously….like, every white person that I knew growing up was chipper and wealthy. ‘Happier than a motherfucker’…and for no good godd*mned reason!”

    However, I absolutely hate it when you encounter a white person who -although they mean well – has never had much interaction with blacks…and they overcompensate. It’s always something to do with ‘Martin’….what with the finger-snapping and the ‘uh, uh..girlfriend’.

    …and I’m, like, “Just talk normally, ok? You don’t have to change your vernacular. I do speak standard English.”
    ..and white men? I mean, I don’t date white men but they’re always so nervous when approaching. They don’t know what the heck to say. LOL I’ve even had one, ‘Oh, no you di’nt’ me.
    Of course, this is preferable. It could be worse.
    …and on THAT note?
    The author of this video DEFINITELY needs to do a ‘Wigga’ installment.
    I have material for days….

  13. Thanks for posting this, D! I never thought much about this until we adopted our girls and now I GET IT. Being a white-black family is interesting…and can be incredibly challening, esp when people do say racist things about my GIRLS’ RACE!!!! But they think they mean it toward all those other black people, not my girls. Eyeroll.

  14. I never get the whole hair-touching thing because I’ve never seen a white woman do that.Maybe because I grew up in a city where there had always been a large black population and I was used to being around them so their hair wasn’t something I’d never seen before.I’ve actually seen more of the opposite,I had a couple of black female coworkers who couldn’t keep their hands off my hair and it bugged the crap out of me.

  15. Please be aware,any of the white people that touch or want to touch your black hair, it’s and old saying that it gives them good luck. pay attention in the shopping malls or when the weather is nice and they marvel at black children whom they think is cute,they always rub their heads.

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  17. The. Touching of the hair….ewe it’s so unsanitary…….don’t like it…………..o.c.d in fifth

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