After winning a 2012 Grammy Award for Best R&B album and making a triumphant return to the Grammy stage three years after the brutal 2009 beating of ex-girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown and his Team Breezy fans took to Twitter to remind us all why we need not forget he’s a hot-tempered abuser who desperately needs to be on someone’s couch, working through his anger issues.
Shortly after winning his Grammy and performing twice at the star-studded ceremony, Brown tweeted: HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate F*** OFF!” Most likely realizing that this wasn’t the best way to convince people he deserved his comeback or Grammy, someone deleted that tweet and Brown tried again: “IM BACK SO WATCH MY BaCK as I walk away from all this negativity #teambreezygrammy.”
Meanwhile, Twitter was abuzz with fans saying they’d gladly let Chris Brown beat them, seeing as he’s so hot and sexy and can sing and dance. I’m not making this up. This screenshot came from my girls over at Clutch.
Now, I’m not gonna front: I do enjoy watching Chris Brown dance and the same was true on Grammy night when I posted a status update saying I dug his performance. Of course, I’d never let him anywhere near my daughters. And I think he needs better songwriters for some of his latest songs (be clear: “I just wanna see you strip” does not rise anywhere to the lyrical level of, say, Stevie Wonder’s “If It’s Magic,” Kanye West’s “Jesus Walks,” or Cee Lo Green’s “I’m A Fool”). But, I argued to a few of my friends who boycotted the Grammy’s over Brown’s performance, isn’t it time we acknowledge that Brown served his time and apologized again and again and again for his actions and just, like, let the guy move on? Clearly, despite that he got off with only five years probation for the Rihanna beating, he’s still paying for his actions every time his name is mentioned; rest assured, if he were to live to be 100, his New York Times obit would tell us two things: that he was an amazing performer and he beat the crap out of one of the most famous pop stars in the world.
But after Brown’s Twitter rant and the self-loathing tweets of dozens of young women looking for a sound Chris Breezy beat down, I see, now, that allowing Brown to move on isn’t as easy as it sounds. And, like my Facebook friends Anne Marie and Beth noted, it shouldn’t be.
Clearly, this man continues to be surrounded by a posse of employees, hangers-on and fans whose very livelihoods are dependent on this man’s popularity—so much so that one can only imagine the amount of smoke they must be blowing up his ass every day to convince him that the public is over “the incident” and ready to move on and that it’s not necessary for him to be contrite as he makes his way back into our good graces. This surely must make Brown feel like he can move on, make popular albums, perform at the Grammy’s and never, ever truly confront what he did to Rihanna. It probably doesn’t help, either, that a bunch of misguided, foolish little girls continue to publicly state they fully support the singer—so much so that they’d like to proclaim not only that Rihanna did something to provoke Brown’s vicious attack but that they’d like in on a Chris Brown beating, too.
All is which to say that Brown’s reality of how we mere mortals feel about his actions and antics is woefully different from us women and mothers and fathers of young daughters and men with the sense of a billy goat—all of us whom feel quite passionately that he should be somewhere paying a lot more for what he did to Rihanna’s face and body. At the very least, it’s not unreasonable to expect that he would keep himself off The Twitter, telling his “haters” to eff off—that maybe he might come down from on high and tell his Team Breezy fans that Tweeting to the world that they want to be punched in the face by a convicted violent offender is not only idiotic, but pretty damn sick.
Apparently, this is much too much to expect from Brown. It’s clear that he feels like the public doesn’t have the right to be upset with him—that we’re all “hating.” Which is plain cray. Quite the contrary, we loved him. He was wholesome. Handsome. With this incredible voice and incredible moves and even decent acting skills—all the qualities that could one day make him an iconic figure on the level of, say, a Will Smith. We adults had only good feelings about him—didn’t even mind buying his album and a poster or two for our daughters. Haters, we are not. That’s a title reserved for people jealous of your success.
What we are tired of are the little boy antics, the tirades, the devil-may-care attitude. Just when we’re ready to let him back in our good graces, he basically gives all of us another middle finger, making it impossible to come to his defense, even for those of us who feel like the system does what it does and he emerged from his punishment, apologized for his actions and should now be given the chance to continue to earn a living.
Chris Brown, then, becomes a case study for my kids on this valuable lesson: When you screw up, everybody watches you closely to make sure that you understand that what you did was wrong—that you’re truly sorry, won’t do it again, and will go out of your way to show and prove that you’re a better person having emerged from the dark. The last thing you want to do is dredge up all those old feelings with new indiscretions that make clear you haven’t learned a single, solitary thing. That don’t allow people—the ones who really do want to root for you—to heal.
That Chris Brown hasn’t learned this much after all these years gone by is certainly the shame of it all. That there are dozens of young women who would put themselves on the business end of his fist is downright frightening. And quite frankly, all of this madness is quite overwhelming for a mother raising daughters who just want to be entertained, sans the lunacy of the Chris Brown circus.
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Denene Millner
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.
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Well said. I was telling my husband during the Grammys that I was very surprised to see him up there.
Well HEYY.. shit happens lady. Chris isn’t the only man in the world to hit a woman. I mean YEAH he’s a sinqer and all, but everyone took it to the damn exterme. People just need to leave him alone, and let him live his life like he deserves to. BTW.. look at Rhianna! She’s obviously worst than CHRIS is. She’s been talkinq shit this whole time.. while she is still tryinq to win him back from Karrueche. COME ON! Don’t you think she’s the biqqer IDIOT! Wake up and smell the coffee people! RHIAANA just wants the damn ATTENTION! I’m never been a fan of her and never will be. “BUT I’M STILL ON TEAM BREEZY”! 😉
lol…. so you think he should be jailed for his incident with RiRi… And what should her punishment be. Last time i checked she was no innocent victim. He has all right to stick his middle finger up to everybody that placed judgment on him without knowing the entire story. I am sick and tired of everybody blaming this man for something that both parties were involved in. He apologized to her and all of the world… what else do you want from him… he did his CS. he is now always going to be labeled an angry black man with no respect for woman. ok, he has that title… what else do you want from this man. Three years later and after she forgave him… what else should he do?
Parents with little girls stop having them think that it is okay to attack verbally and physically these boys with out consequence. These girls now adays are the aggressor. The only way that girls are going to beat these men are through the system that is set up for the men to lose. Especially young black men.
Without consequence? What consequence should a woman expect when she voices her opinion?? To be beat about the face, head and arms because she hurt his male pride? We were raised that boys don’t hit girls. Apparently things have changed. No wonder recent statistics show that the number one cause of death for black women between the ages of 15-44 is Domestic Violence. The fact that women, particularly OUR women are making excuses for his actions sends a dangerous message to our daughters, to women all over the world, and to our sons as well. What do I expect him to do? How about be contrite? How about become the poster boy of a public campaign to curb domestic violence towards women? It’s his ATTITUDE , arrogance, and apparent lack of sincerity that disturbs me the most. Question, what you would do if your daughter came home bloodied, battered and bruised at the hands of a boyfriend because she said something “he didn’t like”? As the mother of an 18 year old daughter I’mma tell you right now, it’d be time to “pop the trunk”. Even if it was “Chris Breezy”.
YES! Talith, you said it perfectly!
THANK YHU! That’s what people don’t see. Chris has done EVERYTHING in his power to make his fans happy. And he APOLOGIZED to the damn world incudinq RHIANNA! People need to leave him alone and move on with there lives and let him live his. #TEAMBREEZY ALL THE WAY!
THANK YHU! That’s what people don’t see. Chris has done EVERYTHING in his power to make his fans happy. And he APOLOGIZED to the damn world incudinq RHIANNA! People need to leave him alone and move on with there lives and let him live his. #TEAMBREEZY ALL THE WAY!
Women have an obsession with bad boys. We pull for them, are attracted to them, hate them, talk about them, try to control them, try to break them, try to change them, try to love them, and give them way too much attention. When Chris Brown did what he did, I hoped he would grow because I could remember being a child doing wild things like hitting people. However, I put him on ice. I dropped the black curtain, so that I wouldn’t be overly concerned with him one way or the other. My children wanted me to take a stance, but I didn’t. I told them I wasn’t there I don’t know what happened and that was that. However, they didn’t see me interested in him or his music again. I used to dance to “run it,” but I now I don’t even play it. It’s not a boycott, I am just not interested anymore. I just don’t pay attention to him anymore. I watched him at the Grammy’s without really seeing him. My husband mentioned that he had cleaned up a bit, and I acknowledge it. However, I’ve put him where I put all people who do things I don’t like, on ice, in the freezer, in the cooler. I put them there until they show me they can come out. He’s shown me that he should stay there. We should all put him there because the more we tweet about, write about, FB about, chat about, even comment about (like I’m doing), he’ll feel relevant. We must ask ourselves why we as women can’t just ignore a bad boy? Why must we constantly give them the attention they crave. The attention we give, positive or negative keeps him acting out.
Brooke nailed it. Ignore him.
Do not judge so that you will not be judged” Matthew 7:1
I can’t believe we’re still on Chris Brown in 2012. Seriously, let the man live. RiRi is certainly not perfect. Has anyone seen her twitter rants? Not exactly exemplary. There’s enough people watching him closely and waiting for him to fail so they can say “See, I told you you so.” He does not need anymore of it from us. Plus he’s young. Our community is always talking about uplifting Black men. Well, sh*t…let’s try to bring this brother up and not point out his every failure.
I refuse to uplift a felon at the expense of black women’s health and safety. Black communities need to celebrate strong, intelligent, respectful men…not violent felons like Brown that bring the community down, hurt women and children, and lower the bar for other black men.
Chris Brown isn’t a man. He’s still a boy. No one in his life seems capable of helping him make that transition, or even insisting he get help to get there. I was ready to partially defend him (not his actions) and say not to let his past define him, but then the Tweet came and blew my argument to smithereens.
I would like nothing more than to be able to lift him up. But how can I? I have a son. I won’t let him listen to the music because of the lyrics. So what am I supposed to do? What part of Chris’ personality should I use as an example?
^^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^^^^^
Thank you, Melanie.
I’m sorry, but him making a tweet about ignorant people who want to permanently label him as an aggressive woman beater and calling them “haters” is perfectly fine in my book. When it comes to issues of domestic abuse like these – and both parties were somewhat guilty in this case, though I don’t condone the way he handled this- it isn’t the court of public opinion that matters, it’s the opinions of the victim. He served his time doing CS, he lost his sponsors, and lot’s of respect. If she can forgive him, then so can we.
As for his rabid fans, I find them no different from the foolish young girls who fantasize about even older men with questionable histories doing such. Those kinds of people will always surface out of a fanbase. If anything, it’s a sign that parents need to get their priorities straight in what they teach their children, as it certainly isn’t the artist’s responsibility to raise their kids. Half the people already angry with him would probably use that as a chance to criticize him further even if he did respond and advise them not to engage in such behavior.
I think this post does not tell the entire story. First of all,I agree with others that he is not a man ,he is a boy..He needs guidance to help him make that transition and maybe some couch time as do most of us if we are honest with ourselves..Anyway, he,as immature as it was,was responding to all the crazy folks that wont let sleeping dogs rest. All the folks apparently mad that the Grammy’s allowed him to perform as they say twice, “gave”him a Grammy,like he didn’t earn it,Boycott the show because he was on it.Come on people. I could name quite a few folks in hollywood that are not up to snuff but they are not continually demonized and criminalized constantly..He is already going to have to wear the scarlet letter B,for bad boy, woman beater for life. No media outlet is going to pass up the chance to mention his name and the fight between him and Rhianna ever again. He acted out,plain and simple. Secondly,regarding these girls tweeting about getting beat..That foolishness has nothing to do with CB nor is it his responsibility. That foolishness is up-bringing and a self worth issue and might I add they need couch time too. Third, I also agree with someone who was making a point about these dam girls hitting on these boys and expecting them not to hit them back. I do not condone in anyway the abuse of women. My boys are under 3 but I will be teaching them how to deal with this type of female..Walk away and never deal with them AGAIN..Noone should be putting their hands on each other PERIOD! Hell I am married for 12 years and my hubby has never laid a hand on me but I will say my mouth in our early years ,if he was a different kind of man,it might have been some furniture moving:) because frankly you can only push a man so far and if we are honest with ourselves we know some of our mouths can write a check as my mama used to say…that our butt can’t cash..Finally, CB needs guidance and to be left alone so he can heal too. If everytime he turns around someone is throwing that mistake in his face he can never move on from it. Even the good lord grants GRACE so why can’t we. I digress.
I’m a little shocked at those who find this article one-sided or lacking in some way. I am also somewhat tired of those that say this was a conflict caused by two people and implying that she brought this upon herself. Don’t get me wrong, if she hit him and assaulted him he had every right to protect himself. But what we saw in those images was not self-defense. It was WAY beyond that.
But ignoring all that, I think the point is he is NOT a child. He is 22, almost 23. I’m sorry, it is time for him to grow up and mature. He has responsibilities and privileges that demand it! A part of growing up is admitting when you are wrong (which I agree he has done), meaning it (this is where it seems he is lacking at times), and showing others that you have learned from your mistakes (also lacking). That twitter tirade were the words of a boy, not a boy growing into a man. I would expect better from my teenage cousins! We learn those traits in our teen years. Even earlier than that we learn that if you have nothing nice or positive to say, then say nothing.
He needs to grow up. Our at least show that he is growing into a man. As of now, he sounds like a child. BUT HE IS NOT! (although it seems our community gives grown men a pass to behave badly because they didn’t have good role models. Excuses won’t work when he’s 30 and behaving the same way!)
He doesn’t get it. He acts as if he’s some victim – that he’s facing adversity for no reason at all. Dude, you gave people, especially some people who were already waiting for an excuse, a very, very valid excuse to write you off. And although I believe in 2nd chances and rehabilitation, he doesn’t get it. Even if Rihanna’s a thuggish fighting chick (those do exist), there’s no excuse for the degree of injuries she had that weren’t shared by him. And he’s just not smart enough to even PRETEND to be remorseful and pretend, even if he doesn’t agree, that he’s this enlightened, changed man, as opposed to an angry man-child who people are ‘hating on’ for no reason. He and Kanye need to grow up and get a grip. Do something, face the consequences and don’t whine so much.
The bottom line is we need to get to a place in our community where we can separate bad behavior and the celebration of bad behavior from the overall inequities that the community faces. His apology was no different than those made by people who use racist language towards black people and say, “I’m sorry YOU thought I did something wrong.” It may be hard for the supporters to appreciate the criticism of Brown, but it’s actually for his own good. He is clearly not well (and neither is anyone else quick to defend him) if he thinks it’s OK to trivialize a violent act against another person. This helps no one. I will not support Brown, and I turn the radio when R Kelly comes on too. And while I do not always accept when people who are uninformed about the inequities facing black people speak about controversy around a black person, this video exactly portrays the irrational behavior exhibited by all those who rush to defend Chris Brown, including Chris Brown: http://youtu.be/hU1mXS0KgqA.
Shanibeec: Thank you for the link to that video. LOVED it.
Brook nailed it indeed. I defended CB and hope and prayed he will mature and rise above it all. I too put people on ice and refuse to acknowledge them until they truly say something worth listening to. Nobody is perfect and Cb needs to grow up. all those people saying the boy should be left alone won’t be buying his CDs when the White media gets tired of him and refuse to play his music. He’s being too corky and he needs to just do his thing and keep quiet. He’ll even Charlie Sheen has some what come to his senses. I want CB to succeed because it will mean my son and all the black boys who are constantly trying to be given a chance can see someone positive to look to and right now he’s not convincing me. GROW UP.
I don’t condone any man hitting a woman. And i was never a Chris Brown fan. but as long as he’s not dating and hitting anyone else. leave him. and we all love yo breeze over riri. The way she’s be behaving, very “inspiring”. Just party and parading around. fine example for young girls of today. We shouldnt make people like them both be and kind of inspiration to our kids. For me i think we sometimes put too much emphasis on celebs and put them on pedateles . and when they fail we, “see they ain’t no good” its our jobs as parents to make sure the people our kids look up to make(us first) are good examples. Of course with internet, mags and tv. it’s not easy. but it’s not impossible.
There are many schools of thought when it comes to Chris Brown. The most popular being that we should let him be and move on. Another is that picking up some trash on the side of the road doesn’t make up for abusing women. A combination of the two seems perfect to me, he has not done nearly enough to say “all is forgiven” and his cockiness, arrogance, and overall negative attitude is a testament to the fact that he is still way too immature to “move on”. At the same time, we are feeding the beast, so to speak; we constantly Tweet about him, talk about him, bring his name up and he then feels justified in his actions because of the “haters”. Do not forgive him. Ignore him. Eliminate him from pop culture. If we do not feed his ego, he will shrink away. Out of sight, Out of mind
PEOPLE MAKE IT SEEM LIKE HE’S THE ONLY MAN THAT PUT HIS HANDS ON A WOMAN. LIKE SOME OF YOU SAID “RHIANNA” IS AT FAULT ALSO. SHE HAS A BUNCH OF FANS WHO LOOK UP TO HER (NOT ME.. I’M ON TEAMBREEZY ALL THE DAMN WAY) AND SHE IS TRYING TO GET CHRIS BACK. PEOPLE JUST NEED TO KNOW SHE IS A BAD ROLE MODEL TO HER FANS. AND JUST BECAUSE SHE WAS THE ONE WITH HER FACE ALL SWOLLEN AND MESSED UP.. DOESN’T MAKE HER INNOCENT. ALL SHE WANTED THEN WAS ATTENTION, AND KNOW THAT SHE GOT IT SHE WANTS TO BE ON CHRIS SIDE AND HAVE HIM BACK. *NEWSFLASH! RHIANNA IS A DAMN IDIOT.. HE SHOULD JUST STAY WITH KARRUECHE TRAN. BECAUSE IF HE GOES BACK TO RHIAANA HIS LIFE MAY FALL APART. AND THAT’S NOT WHAT “I” WANT FOR CHRIS AT ALL!
Please, let Chris Brown move on. To Hell, at least.
Okay, maybe he is a good guy ( who beat the hell out of his girlfriend 3 years ago), but can we at least agree that he is a self-centered egomaniac?