After winning a 2012 Grammy Award for Best R&B album and making a triumphant return to the Grammy stage three years after the brutal 2009 beating of ex-girlfriend Rihanna, Chris Brown and his Team Breezy fans took to Twitter to remind us all why we need not forget he’s a hot-tempered abuser who desperately needs to be on someone’s couch, working through his anger issues.
Shortly after winning his Grammy and performing twice at the star-studded ceremony, Brown tweeted: HATE ALL U WANT BECUZ I GOT A GRAMMY Now! That’s the ultimate F*** OFF!” Most likely realizing that this wasn’t the best way to convince people he deserved his comeback or Grammy, someone deleted that tweet and Brown tried again: “IM BACK SO WATCH MY BaCK as I walk away from all this negativity #teambreezygrammy.”
Meanwhile, Twitter was abuzz with fans saying they’d gladly let Chris Brown beat them, seeing as he’s so hot and sexy and can sing and dance. I’m not making this up. This screenshot came from my girls over at Clutch.
Now, I’m not gonna front: I do enjoy watching Chris Brown dance and the same was true on Grammy night when I posted a status update saying I dug his performance. Of course, I’d never let him anywhere near my daughters. And I think he needs better songwriters for some of his latest songs (be clear: “I just wanna see you strip” does not rise anywhere to the lyrical level of, say, Stevie Wonder’s “If It’s Magic,” Kanye West’s “Jesus Walks,” or Cee Lo Green’s “I’m A Fool”). But, I argued to a few of my friends who boycotted the Grammy’s over Brown’s performance, isn’t it time we acknowledge that Brown served his time and apologized again and again and again for his actions and just, like, let the guy move on? Clearly, despite that he got off with only five years probation for the Rihanna beating, he’s still paying for his actions every time his name is mentioned; rest assured, if he were to live to be 100, his New York Times obit would tell us two things: that he was an amazing performer and he beat the crap out of one of the most famous pop stars in the world.
But after Brown’s Twitter rant and the self-loathing tweets of dozens of young women looking for a sound Chris Breezy beat down, I see, now, that allowing Brown to move on isn’t as easy as it sounds. And, like my Facebook friends Anne Marie and Beth noted, it shouldn’t be.
Clearly, this man continues to be surrounded by a posse of employees, hangers-on and fans whose very livelihoods are dependent on this man’s popularity—so much so that one can only imagine the amount of smoke they must be blowing up his ass every day to convince him that the public is over “the incident” and ready to move on and that it’s not necessary for him to be contrite as he makes his way back into our good graces. This surely must make Brown feel like he can move on, make popular albums, perform at the Grammy’s and never, ever truly confront what he did to Rihanna. It probably doesn’t help, either, that a bunch of misguided, foolish little girls continue to publicly state they fully support the singer—so much so that they’d like to proclaim not only that Rihanna did something to provoke Brown’s vicious attack but that they’d like in on a Chris Brown beating, too.
All is which to say that Brown’s reality of how we mere mortals feel about his actions and antics is woefully different from us women and mothers and fathers of young daughters and men with the sense of a billy goat—all of us whom feel quite passionately that he should be somewhere paying a lot more for what he did to Rihanna’s face and body. At the very least, it’s not unreasonable to expect that he would keep himself off The Twitter, telling his “haters” to eff off—that maybe he might come down from on high and tell his Team Breezy fans that Tweeting to the world that they want to be punched in the face by a convicted violent offender is not only idiotic, but pretty damn sick.
Apparently, this is much too much to expect from Brown. It’s clear that he feels like the public doesn’t have the right to be upset with him—that we’re all “hating.” Which is plain cray. Quite the contrary, we loved him. He was wholesome. Handsome. With this incredible voice and incredible moves and even decent acting skills—all the qualities that could one day make him an iconic figure on the level of, say, a Will Smith. We adults had only good feelings about him—didn’t even mind buying his album and a poster or two for our daughters. Haters, we are not. That’s a title reserved for people jealous of your success.
What we are tired of are the little boy antics, the tirades, the devil-may-care attitude. Just when we’re ready to let him back in our good graces, he basically gives all of us another middle finger, making it impossible to come to his defense, even for those of us who feel like the system does what it does and he emerged from his punishment, apologized for his actions and should now be given the chance to continue to earn a living.
Chris Brown, then, becomes a case study for my kids on this valuable lesson: When you screw up, everybody watches you closely to make sure that you understand that what you did was wrong—that you’re truly sorry, won’t do it again, and will go out of your way to show and prove that you’re a better person having emerged from the dark. The last thing you want to do is dredge up all those old feelings with new indiscretions that make clear you haven’t learned a single, solitary thing. That don’t allow people—the ones who really do want to root for you—to heal.
That Chris Brown hasn’t learned this much after all these years gone by is certainly the shame of it all. That there are dozens of young women who would put themselves on the business end of his fist is downright frightening. And quite frankly, all of this madness is quite overwhelming for a mother raising daughters who just want to be entertained, sans the lunacy of the Chris Brown circus.
1. Spurred by Rihanna and Chris Brown, One Teenager Tries to Curb Teen Dating Violence
2. And Here I Was Thinking The Chris Brown/Rihanna Incident Was A “Teachable Moment.
3. Herman Cain & His Forgetful Hands: The Importance of Teaching Boys R.E.S.P.E.C.T. For Girls & Women
4. Gang Rape in Texas: When Will We Stop Sacrificing Girls In Defense of Black Boys?
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.