Caption This: What Ted the Goldendoodle Said…

Every once in a while, I’ll scroll through the photo albums on my iPhone and come across random pictures my kids take without my knowledge. Almost all of them involve capturing me in precarious positions. Like, me slobbering into my pillow. Or falling asleep with my mouth open. Or before I comb my hair and wipe the cold out my eye. Yeah. You know what it is.

Sometimes, though, the shots they sneak onto my phone are hysterical. The picture accompanying this post is one of them. It’s a shot Lila caught of our Goldendoodle, Teddy, just after dinner one night, while I was busting suds and she was looking for something to do. Usually, what she finds are a million ways to harass Teddy, which is why this shot is so doggone funny: it looks like he’s talking.

And so for the past week, we’ve been pulling up the shot and imagining what Teddy was saying when Lila snapped this picture—and cracking ourselves up in the process coming up with words and voices for our best buddy. And then my Mari, who is a big fan of the “caption this” cartoon feature on the back page of The New Yorker, thought it would be fun times to ask our MyBrownBaby friends to caption Teddy’s picture.

So, there’s the picture. What do you think Teddy’s saying? Share your captions in the comments section—we’d love to see them! Here are a few of the captions we came up with, just for kicks and giggles:

From Mari: “Be Quiet! You dogs across the street don’t know what you’re talking about! I do not pee like a girl dog. Why are you guys looking anyway?”

From Lila: “Oh, so you’re saying my breaf stank after you just ate a whole bowl full of that nasty smellin’ green stuff? *air quotes* Vegetables? With garlic? Mmmmhmmm, that’s what I thought.”

From Nick: “Yeah, you may think it’s gross, but you’d probably lick your butt too if you could reach it.”

From Lila’s best bud, Maggie: “Oh-em-gee with the paparazzi, already! Can I just live?”

From Denene: “So, I was all, like, wait—you just gonna eat up all the ribs up there and not even toss a brotha a bone? That’s cold, bro. Ice. Cold.”

Go ahead—your turn!

And have a fantastic weekend!

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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. Who goin check me boo?

  2. WAIT! Hol’ Up! Y’all AIN’T leave a bruh no gumbo drippings in the pan?!? See, that’s why all my siblings went to white families…Can you say (paw quotes), “Table Scraps?!?” And then, y’all had the nerve to name me “Ted.” What kinda foolishness is this? (Pulling out his iDog, looking up app for Buckhead pet adoptions….)…..

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