The Adorable Preschool Tap Dancer Who Will Totally Be Beyonce When She Grows Up (VIDEO)

Oh. My. God. This pint-sized tap dancing goddess gave me absolutely LIFE this morning. Baby girl, in her fancy gaggle of lavender tulle and hot pink ribbons, went straight rogue at her preschool dance recital, transforming into a tap-dancing star—much to the delight of her audience. The brown sugar sweetums totally YOLO’d under the bright lights, yell-singing every word of “Broadway Baby,” while flailing her arms and stomping out every tap like The Ghost of Gregory Hines-meets-Tina Turner—a deliciously energetic twist-and-shout that made her fellow tap dance troupe the Kelly and Michelle to her Beyonce. And her grand finale move? It’s everything. Chile, just press play. You’re welcome.

(Hat tip to my girl Demetria Lucas, a.k.a. A Belle In Brooklyn, who posted on my FB page the link to this video, featured on The Man Repeller. And for all the commenters there who took it upon themselves to call this baby “LaQuesha” (in an insulting, demeaning, “she’s ghetto” kind of way) and proclaim this kid, who is no more than, like, three-years-old, “out of control,” and “rude,” and the victim of “bad parenting” who will be “on the six-o’clock news for not having any self-control and committing a crime,” do yourself a favor: get yourself a frosted beer mug, fill it with bleach and sip it with a straw. Slowly. And while you do so, read the MyBrownBaby classic, “That New, New: Willow Smith, The Hair Whip, and Coloring Outside the Lines.”

FYI: when Mari was in her first preschool ballet performance, we had a little girl who did practically the same standout routine while all the other four-year-olds stood practically frozen on the stage. That kid, Ruby, is now an accomplished stage actress—at age 14. Clearly, she was born to be a star, much like this little girl in the video. A prospective thug criminal? Nah. I got her pegged to be the next Kerry Washington. The next Angela Bassett. Or maybe a glorious version of her own truly talented self. Yaaaas, baby. DANCE!

Now how can I get my hands on tickets to this baby’s next preschool tap performance?