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by Denene Millner — Feb 6, 2014

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An editor once told me that writing about black people only would stunt my career. I decided in that moment to prove him wrong. "Speakeasy With Denene" is my testament to the worthiness of blackness as a dope story. Today, my fourth episode drops and the password is fitting: BLACK. This week, I invited my babies, Mari and Lila, to talk about their blackness (what they have to say shocked the mess out of me!). And columnist and bestselling author @damonyoungvsb, who penned the brilliant book, “What Doesn’t Kill You Makes You Blacker,” explains to me why being black can feel like "an extreme sport." The episode rounds off with performance artist @thasongbird sharing her viral poem, "You So Black," and, with a fist in the air, breaking down why Black is so damn beautiful. Click the link in my bio to listen and don't forget to subscribe on iTunes, Apple music, Stitcher, GPB.org's speakeasywithdenene.com or wherever you get your podcasts.

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Totally Lila as “The Best of the Kardashians” is a total effing MOOD. You’re welcome. #TotallyLila #GirlpieSundayFunday

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I’ve been rather fascinated by the relation between beauty and blackness for most of my adult life—an obsession fueled by a consistent and relentless societal narrative that, when I was coming of age in the ’80s, insisted dark-skinned, kinky-haired, curvy girls like me were just not pretty. That same narrative was ever present, too, when I had black daughters of my own; it seemed like the world was conspiring to ingrain in their brains that something is wrong with their kinky hair and their juicy lips and their dark skin and their piercing brown eyes and their bubble butts and thick thighs and black girl goodness. I promise you, it felt like I was guarding them from a tsunami of “you’re ugly” pronouncements; magazines and TV shows and popular radio and movies and all of the rest of pop culture insisted on squeezing all of us women into a ridiculously Eurocentric, blonde-haired, light-eyed standard of beauty, and my God, unless you’ve parented a little black girl, you have absolutely no earthly idea how exhausting it is to be media whipped for not being a white girl. I’ve spent a lifetime trying to course-correct and love the skin I’m in—to look in the mirror and truly love what I see, no matter what anyone else thinks about it. And as a mother, I’ve poured the same into my babies.

And so it was only fitting that the word “beauty” be the password for the latest episode of SPEAKEASY WITH DENENE. My goal is to explore the word in all its manifestations, but with a focus on embracing just how gorgeous we are when we honor our natural beauty and use what we know and love about the intersection of beauty and blackness to cater to a long-neglected audience. Joining me are beautypreneurs Yolanda Owens of @iwifresh_spa_atl, #BeautifullyBrown’s @melanieyvette, @pamelajbooker of #koilsbynature, Madam C J Walker’s great grandbaby, @aleliabundles and special nods to incredible black beauty brands @juviasplace and @mentedcosmetics. Plus a gorgeous segment featuring international superstar @somimusic. Go to http://www.speakeasywithdenene.com to listen and subscribe! #blackpodcasters #blackpodcasts @gpbmedia

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When my babies were little, nighttime routines were, well, intense. Hair needed braiding, water needed to be had, there were at least two trips to the bathroom, singing, prayers and promises that monsters would stay out of the room while they slept. My absolute fave part of the night? Aside from breastfeeding and rocking them to sleep, it was, hands down, reading books to them. I made a point of sharing with my girls stories that showed them themselves—that celebrated the beauty of Blackness. And they enjoyed those stories, along with the bonding time we shared reading all those beautiful words. Tonight, Totally Lila and I are sending a good night from us and June, the little soloist in my book, #EarlySundayMorning as part of the
@PajamaProgram’s #ShareAGoodNight Challenge to support a comforting bedtime routine for all children. I nominate @theweereader, @vanessabrantleynewton and @authorderrickdbarnes to post a good night or donate to Pajama Program! Thank you, @pajamaprogramatl for allowing me to share my stories with the kindergarten cuties of Lithonia, and special thanks to my friend, @josiebrussels for bringing me along with her to read to the babies! 😘

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The password into #SpeakeasyWithDenene is FLY, and the first segment explores my quest to let go of my fear of international travel as a black single mom. That’s something I did when I took my daughters to visit my cousin, Cheri, at her home in San Lucar de Barrameda, a lovely town in southern Spain, under an hour from two different continents—the U.K. and Africa. We had an incredible time, but only after a rocky start with me doing a full-on freak out that spanned from my completely irrational fear of everything from getting lost in a country where there are language barriers to all three of us getting kidnapped by some handsome but totally sheisty Spaniard, a la “Taken.” SPEAKEASY WITH DENENE’S genius producer, Sean Powers, convinced me to record our journey, which I did, beginning with the almost 24-hour trek to our 10-day vacay to Spain, Morocco and Gibraltar. The result is a super layered story of a black woman out in the world. Link in the bio! #speakeasywithdenene #blacktravel

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It’s that time again: a new episode of #SpeakeasyWithDenene is live. This week’s password is FLY, and I’m talking about all the ways that word intersects with blackness. Fly as in soar. Fly as in pretty or dope. Fly as in “taking flight.” Joining me is my love, @demetriallucas, who tells me why it’s important for Black women to stretch and #seesomeworld, and New Orleans fly girl @thinktank20 of @tankandthebangas, whose voice and lyrics mesmerize as she shares how flying in a rollercoaster is a lot like flying high—and low—in love. It’s a fly espisode, yo (wink, wink!) Get you some today on www.speakeasywithdenene.com it hit up the link in my bio.

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It’s here and I have real tears: @alicefayewrites’ gorgeous book, JUST LIKE A MAMA, the very first offering from the @denenemillnerbooks imprint at its new home, @simonandschuster, arrived today. How. Beautiful. Is. This. Book! It’s a super sweet celebration of the heart connection between a little girl, Carol Olivia Clementine, and her forever family, Mama Rose, who doesn’t share her blood, but offers kindness, care and unconditional love while Carol Olivia’s parents are absent. As a child of adoption, I know this story intimately. A lot of us who were raised by aunties, grandmas, siblings, godparents, foster parents and the like know this story, too. Wunderkind Alice Faye Duncan spun a tale that @kirkus_reviews says is “a beautiful story of love and kinship, so needed for the many children living apart from their nuclear families.” This gorgeousness was illustrated by @callmechartreuse, who poured that legendary Pinkney creativity and passion flowing through her blood into this, her debut picture book. What a way to make a splash at Simon & Schuster Books for Young Readers! Available for pre-order, #JustLikeAMama hits bookstores in early 2020. Congratulations, Alice Faye and Charnelle! #adoption #fostercare #blackchildrensbooks #weneeddiversebooks #foreverfamily

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Me, breaking down my love for fellow #Libra, #cardib, who has a powerful voice, a beautiful brain, a fiery mouth and a wild spirit that’s downright inspiring—my kinda woman.
#Repost @asatt.tv
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Our host, @mybrownbaby elaborates about watching reality TV and why she loves @iamcardib. Light-skin, dark-skin, curly hair, straight hair, and curves. These are stereotypes of colorism, that doesn't just happen in the African American community. New show:gpb.org/asatt #colorism #latina

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For my debut #SpeakeasyWithDenene episode, I invited one of my fav singers and songwriters to talk about what it takes to write a love song when so much of the music these days is all about getting paid and getting naked.

Avery*Sunshine knows her way around a love song, okay? And her voice? HER. VOICE. It mesmerizes, ya’ll. I so enjoyed talking to her about her love, her passion, her music and her gift. I know you’ll love hearing what she has to say about it all, plus, I’m sharing some of my fav Avery Sunshine songs along with her beautiful words. Listen to the interview and subscribe to SPEAKEASY WITH DENENE at http://www.speakeasywithdenene.com. #love #averysunshine #tayarijones #blacklove #podcastersofinstagram

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MYBROWNBABY’S DENENE MILLNER

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.

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