White Mom Sues Sperm Bank

This foolishness right here: a white woman from Ohio who birthed a Black baby is suing a Chicago-area sperm bank for mistakenly giving her vials from an African-American donor instead of the white one she and her partner chose.

In the lawsuit, Jennifer Cramblett says she and her partner, Amanda Zinkon, chose donor No. 380, who is white, but instead, was sent sperm for donor No. 330, who is Black. Cramblett and Zinkon realized the mistake when they ordered additional vials to make more babies and noticed that the initial donor’s number didn’t match the number on the vials they were sent the second time around. By then, Cramblett was pregnant with the baby of the Black donor.

According to the Chicago Tribune, Cramblett is suing the sperm bank for “wrongful birth and breach of warranty,” which is fair. I mean, if you spend all that time flipping through binders of dudes, checking out their backgrounds, education, height, cuteness and whatever else women are looking for when they’re trying to decide whose sperm they’re going to squirt into their bodies to make the kid of their dreams, you should get what you paid for. Simple as that. I get it.

What I can’t wrap my mind around, though, is that Cramblett is claiming the mix-up caused “emotional and economic losses” brought on when she was forced to birth and raise a Black kid in her virtually lily-white town, amongst her racist, intolerant white family, in her all-the-way white home. In the lawsuit, she says she loves her “obviously mixed-race” daughter, Payton, but she “lives each day with fears, anxieties, and uncertainty” about both her and her kid’s future because:

  1. She was raised in a community with “racially intolerant beliefs about Black people.”
  2. She didn’t even meet an African American until she attended college, and she has a “steep learning curve” when it comes to “cultural competency relative to African Americans,” which is a fancy way of saying she knows nothing—as in zip zero—about Negroes.
  3. The town she and her partner live in isn’t too keen on Negroes, either, so raising their very Black daughter in their very white town is going to be a problem with a capital “P.”
  4. Chances are it’s going to get really thick for Payton when her lesbian mamas bring their Blackety Black baby around Cramblett’s “all white and unconsciously insensitive family,” because, well… Black people. The lawsuit adds that though the mother is “compelled to repress her individuality amongst family members”—read: pretend she’s not a lesbian—Payton can’t hide all that Black at the Thanksgiving dinner table and she’s worried the kid will “feel stigmatized or unrecognized due simply to the circumstances of her birth.”
  5. Cramblett’s massive freak-out about being a mom of a Black kid intensifies when she pictures her Black kid in an all-white school  or has to drive around all those Black people when she has to take her Black kid to get her hair styled.

Really? Really?!

So basically what they’re admitting here, out loud, in public, for the entirety of the world—and, eventually, their baby girl—to see is that they think they should get oodles of cash money dollar bills y’all to deal with the filthy work of raising a Black child. Because really, who wants to drive to the Black side of town to get this kid’s nappy hair done? Who’s trying to pack up the entire house and move somewhere around Black people so the baby can feel like she belongs? Who’s gonna even begin to check grandpa at the dinner table when he goes on his anti-Obama rants and gets all red-faced talking about how niggers are ruining the goddamn country? Who signs up for that shit?

Cramblett didn’t. So pay her.

Of course, Crambeltt and her partner are asking for checks. Historically, white American women caught out there with Black babies were far more sinister. My friend, child advocate Dr. Stacey Patton, called me yesterday to gab about Cramblett’s lawsuit and ended up schooling me on the sordid history of maternity, race, parenting and “passing” in this country, a history in which the medical establishment, state governments and the white community colluded to hide the products of interracial sexual relationships. In her research, Stacey found all manner of excuses—some of which were considered medically legit—for why white women were having Black babies: looking at a Black man or even the color Black while pregnant could turn a white fetus Black; being sad or depressed or being scared by lightening on a dark night could cause the same, and so forth.

Stacey also found all kinds of evidence of white women killing the Black babies they birthed, or leaning on Black midwives to help them either determine whether the baby could pass or whether it would be more prudent to give them away to Black families so that the white moms could relieve themselves of the racial backlash they’d endure trying to explain why their babies looked like the Black man across the tracks, rather than the white husbands in their beds. So common was the collusion in the 20s that the state of Virginia actually passed a law requiring midwives to list definitively a baby’s race on the birth certificate and face up to five years in prison if she lied.

I share these things to put context behind Cramblett’s sorry excuse of a lawsuit. Her demands are rooted in fear. They are stuck in the muck and mire of racism and the purity of white lineage. They are ignorant and every bit as lazy as an old, dusty dog laying on a wraparound porch on a hot Southern afternoon. She’s a white woman who had a Black baby and she simply cannot fathom dealing with what it means to, in essence, be a Black mom, having to navigate and negotiate a racist world on behalf of a human she bore, in an environment of which she is a product.

What’s curious to me as a mother, a Black woman and the lover of two Black daughters of my own, is why, in 2014, Cartlett was apparently A-OK with living in a homogenous white world where, no doubt, the “N” word and stereotypes of Black people are on their friends’, neighbors’ and families’ lips like likka. I can’t help but to wonder, too, if she participated in the rampant prejudice against and the willful ignorance of the plights of humans, races and cultures that do not look like her own. This kind of environment would have been okay had her daughter been born white?


Being lesbians in that kind of homogenous, intolerant environment is totally workable, but bringing a Black baby into the mix throws off the couple’s identity so much that they simply cannot deal?


Throw that white privilege card, honey. Get yo’ cash, money. But while you’re fighting the good fight, Ms. Cartlett, perhaps you might consider really digging in to what it means to raise a Black child in America, not from a place of ignorance and fear, but from a place of love—a perspective that demands you parent thoughtfully, intelligently and shrewdly, for the sake of your baby. And all those who will shape her destiny.

I worry this won’t happen, though. And I’m scared for little Payton.

Photo credit: The Daily Mail

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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. WTH?! She should be thankful she has a healthy baby. All that other foolishness needs to stop.

  2. Wow, just wow! 🙁 We live in the age of the designer baby, where more and more adults are having children to meet their own needs. My heart breaks for the little girl that has to live with her moms not really wanting her. How awful! 🙁 It’s so sad that appearances matter more then just loving their kid. Who cares what other people think, they can live in their stuck, messed up thinking. This is a child that needs unconditional love, no matter what color or ethnic background she is. We are all human beings, I wish we would start acting like it.

    • I agree. I am a white woman married for 14 years now to a black man.i’ve been a weekend parent with my husband every weekend for 14 years to his two daughters from a previous relationship who happen to be bi- racial. I love children and wish i had been able to have them. I would love any child no matter the color. When we leave this earth one day we will not occupy these bodies any longer and we will not be identified by color. I hope peyton’s mom wakes up and stops being a hypocrite.

  3. My heart aches for that child, it really does. It’s so darn sad that in 2014, this is still an issue. And unfortunately, Payton is caught down right in the middle of it all because her lesbian moms chose to get pregnant via sperm bank. Man.

  4. I’m scared for Peyton too. What happens when she is old enough to learn her mothers basically demanded a refund for damaged goods. If they truly are “lovingly raising her” they wouldn’t expose her to this kind of scrutiny. No parent would.

  5. My heart aches for the child too – please let these women know that I would gladly adopt their child and raise the child in a diverse and racially aware environment.

  6. Poor thing. Why did they take so long to realize they’re probably racist? Why didn’t they put her up for adoption before she knew who they were?!

    • they were trying to see how she wud luk if it would be obvious that th child is mixed…. as she grew they realized its physically apparent so thats y they are now raising th issue

  7. Ok, these moms are not suing because they are racist. Or because they hate their child. They certainly are not getting “oodles of cash money”. They are asking for $50,000 to cover expenses of moving, changing jobs, loss of income, legal fees and emotional distress in response to an error made by a cryogenic lab they put a lot of trust in. They paid for a product, they got the wrong product. They plan to move to a place where their daughter will feel safe and accepted and have a stronger representation of others who outwardly look like her in the community. Uprooting lives and homes and careers isn’t cheap. They have every right to sue. Personally, I think all of this ranting and fear-mongering about racism is really thinly veiled hatred toward these woman for being lesbian and daring to have a child.

    • Nicole,

      Hate? No dear. I can’t speak for the rest of the world or anyone else commenting on this story, but I know this much: I don’t hate people I don’t know. I especially don’t hate anyone for daring to love who they choose to love or making babies, however those children come to them. Just wanted to be very clear about that. Otherwise, we do agree on this one true thing: they have the right to sue. I do not question that. I question some of the reasons they chose to sue. I’m pretty sure they could have won this case without all of the added racial elements.

      • Perhaps you’re right about them being able to win this case without the racial elements. That seems likely. However, neither of these women drafted their legal paperwork and lawyers play the odds. So their lawyer has loaded up the complaints as much as he or she can, to ensure payment compensation for one or more complaints.

        • If that’s the case, then I REALLY don’t appreciate the experience of mothers raising Black children being used as a pawn to grab for money. Raising Black children in the firestorm of racism here in America is not a game and is not to be taken lightly. And if she’s entitled to payment for that, then anyone raising a Black child in America is, too.

  8. This poor child. Not only will she have to deal with being different in many ways, but she’ll eventually know (or already knows) that she is NOT what her parents wanted, so much that they sued over it. I know so many women who would give anything for a child, white, black, Asian, whatever!! I agree, the sperm bank messed up, but shouldn’t they love her enough to want her just the way she is?

  9. I don’t see the problem with not wanting a child of a different ethnicity. It is scary raising a kid of a different race because you have never experienced life as a black American. While I do think she should be able to come to terms with it, I understand the concerns she has.

    • Wha? That a reason for not wanting to raise a child with a mixed background? So that completely justifies all the concerns she has as a parent. She suing because it will be hard on her as a parent to raise a black child. Why? Because her mountain dwelling hillbilly ken folk are RACIALLY INTOLERANT, her hillbilly community is RACIALLY INTOLERANT and I’m sure before the birth of her “Obviously Mixed child”, was just as racially intolerant as the rest of her red necked possum eating relatives. You have a child, raise that child with love. Raise that child because your the parent. Raise that child because you want the best for them.

      DON’T allow an excuse of your life being hard to be the basis for a lawsuit. The facility fucked up, fine…but she does not have make her point and reasoning based on the hardships she now faces as a black child’s parent. But hey realizing how messed up the world truly is must be a hard pill to swallow coming from the privileged white race. Deal with what you have and thank “GOD”, you have a healthy child that loves you unconditionally in spite of your obvious pigmentation differences.

      • LOL. Keep me laughing like Miss Sophia at the Thanksgiving table. Hee Hee Hee. Hush you ole fool. Pass me dem peas!

      • You sound just as racially intolerant when painting a very vivid picture of your presumption that her friends and family are all “mountain-dwelling hillbilly kinfolk”

  10. It’s very sad. I feel for Payton. It’s unbelievable that her mother would actually file such a lawsuit.

  11. This child is going to be a huge gift in her mothers’ lives but it is going to be a challenge for all of them, child included, to adapt to their circumstances. Many of us are happy to cross race and cultural boundaries but the reality is, most are not. I hate that we are such a segregated society but we are and financial compensation to provide a better life for their child is not an unreasonable thing to ask for. That’s why businesses and doctors have insurance. They did not sign on for the challenges they will now face when they paid for that sperm. I’m sure they will not regret having this child if they step up to the challenges but she will change their lives in ways that they never before imagined. They will be better people for it. Instead of belittling them for being honest about the challenges they face and their asking for money to help ease the transition, can’t we support them becoming the best parents they can be. One of the responsibilities of being a good parent is providing the best opportunities you can for your child. I applaud their efforts. I bet the details of the lawsuit will make Thanksgiving dinner a riot. I can imagine a book and a movie in the making.

  12. uscbelle@comcast.net

    The Sperm bank should be held accountable for their mistake in sending the wrong selection. However if I were Payton’s mom I would be ever so thankful that they did mix them up. And as a mom to a bi-racial daughter….I think the other claims are bogus…..as an adoptive multi-racial family we have come to accept that we are in a place to lovingly educate others who don’t know what to do with our family. With that said we have come across negative and positive attitudes….however I don’t let others tell me how to feel about my children nor should Mrs. Cramblett.

    • uscbelle@comcast.net

      And let me just add that our adoption case-worker is the one that taught me how to care for my daughter’s hair and I do so completely at home, all naturally for about 20.00 a month and her hair is curlier and longer than the child in the picture.

  13. I find this lawsuit and attitude of these mothers ridiculous! ! I am a white woman raising two beautiful multi-racial children a mere 10 miles from where this woman lives…and GASP!! My kids are fine and thriving. I feel like her “concerns” are less about what she perceives her child will experience but rather her facing her own bigotry and self hatred.

  14. They aren’t suing bc the donor was black. They’re suing bc they didn’t get the sperm they selected and paid for. The wrong sperm they were given just so happened to be black. I’m sure if the donor they had selected a German donor with blonde hair and blue eyes and pale skin (like they do – you know, so their child will look like them – just like how yalls babies look like you) but their kid came out with black hair, brown eyes, and naturally dark skin , let’s say this donor is a Cajun from New Orleans, THEY’D STILL SUE. I would. Granted, I’m a German Cajun so that kid would probably turn out looking just like me..I’d still sue bc the sperm bank NEEDS to be held accountable. Not every white person is racist.

    • No one is here to make a blanket statement about white people. And there is no question that the sperm bank is at fault. But racism is the act of being upset that someone doesn’t look like you. People have turned their backs on the love of their life and married someone else just so their children would ‘look like them’. Of course, when people use that phrase, they don’t mean ‘I want her to have my nose.’ In the strictest sense, your biological child will resemble you in some way, no matter who the other parent is.

      If I were to marry and have children with a white man, I could very well have a child that looked completely white. It’s rare, but it does happen. It would be a challenge, and I would worry that my child may reject me in order to be accepted in society. But would I reject my child because she wasn’t a carbon copy of me? Is that the reason people have children, just to reincarnate themselves?

      In this case, I wish the couple would hand over the child to a family that wanted her.

      • I was told at 14 yrs old that I would never be able to have a child. I always wanted to be a mother. Always. After 2 yrs of trying to have a child, my husband and i began looking into adoption. We both had agreed that we wanted a white blonde haired blue eyed baby. Is that because I didnt want a child that was black? No. Is that because i didnt want a child with brown hair? No. Is that because i didnt want a child with brown eyes? No. Its because we wanted a baby who looked like is parents in any way possible. I’m not saying everyone is this way. I’m saying we were. In January, however, we were blessed to have welcomed our own baby boy in to this world. People tell, both, his father and I, that he looks just like us. That’s what I’ve always wanted. These women wanted the same thing. That is way you go through such a detailed selective process when selecting a sperm donor. The bottom line is they did not get what exactly what they paid for. This lawsuit is not bc they don’t love their daughter. Its bc the sperm clinic messed up. Period. I saw a news article not too long ago where a man and woman sued her obstitrition bc she had her tubes tied after the birth of a baby girl with cerebral palsy and the doctor did it incorrectly. They had decided to not risk having another child with the sickness. Does that make them bad people? I don’t think so. Well the doctor tied the wrong tube. Only one worked. She had some kind surgery in her past making the other incapable of reproducing and that’s the one he tied. She then got pregnant. They had a 2nd child with cerebral palsy. They sued for malpractice. Does that mean they don’t love the child that came from that doctors mistake? No. It means the doctor fucked up. Again, I’d sue too. Media makes things like this into a bigger deal than it needs to be. Everyone just needs to get over themselves and move on with their lives.

    • Hold the phone. THEY are the ones saying that they need this financial award so that they can afford to move away from the horribly racist, judgmental town full of white people who will never accept their bi-racial child. Before you get high and mighty about how “not every white person is racist”, you might stop to evaluate the story and see who is actually being divisive here. They have every right to sue for this gross negligence, and the sperm bank should be held accountable for it, but people have a right to be put off by the specifics of their claims. They are doing absolutely nothing for equality here.

  15. t she “lives each day with fears, anxieties, and uncertainty”- welcome to parenthood!!!!!!

  16. This woman should spare the child a life of scorn, rejection and contempt and give her up for adoption. Do it now, before the girl has the misfortune of remembering her. The woman has a right to be upset about not getting what she asked (and paid) for, and the girl has a right to live in a home where she is wanted. People are so bent on fulfilling their own wants that they don’t care who suffers.

    I wouldn’t mind being a mother, but I’m single. If I went and had a baby, I’d be fulfilling my desire for a child. But what about the child’s needs? This woman is honest enough to admit that she doesn’t have the wear-withall to parent a biracial child, so let the child go and give the woman her money back. Women give up their children for adoption all the time, and for any number of reasons. I truly hope she lets that kid go.

    • Exactly! Especially if she does not have the fortitude to be a parent and let’s face it, even when we have our own biological baby there is always the chance that we may not get the child we expect (for example, a child born with a disability), but we pull up our big girl panties and mother that child to the best of our ability! Sure, they should hold the sperm bank accountable for human error but, she should also make sure that her child grows up knowing that she is loved and not some mistake!

      • Amen and amen!!!! My biological daughter was born with cerebral palsy….not what we expected but we love her fiercely as we do with our adopted children. One of whom is mixed. Yes, the sperm bank was negligent but these women need to educate themselves and make this a teaching moment. They can choose to teach Payton to run from their fears or they can teach her to not be afraid and be the best person she can be. Our town isn’t as “tolerant” as some bigger cities but we are raising our son to know he is loved and he is wanted and he is perfection just the way he is. If these women can’t do that then maybe parenting isn’t for them.

  17. I think that adopting an African American child (as opposed to sperm–I just think the older kids need homes!) would be a blessed event just as a Caucasian child would. However, before I could make that happen, I would make sure that my “village” of family and friends wud be on board to help me tackle anything that might happen now or in the future, particularly if I lived in an area of potential racial bias. This couple was not given a chance to plan out what I just described. I think it’s unfair for ppl to judge them. I’ll bet they love their child. They were not given the chance to plan out a strategy if they had to face cruelty from their community.

  18. Chastising white people for their honesty about the challenges of raising a black child in whatever community is really counterproductive click-baiting. In short, BS. The bottom line is that she paid for something she didn’t get, and the end result of what she got is life altering beyond the scope of her expectations. So, if she wants to sue then that’s her damn right. This is not about the mother’s racism, this speaks to the reality of racism and race relations in our societies (which the mother clearly grasps). Why is that so hard to see?

    • Sooooo… by that argument, I should go on ahead and get in line for my Black Baby check. Because the reality of racism and race relations in our society makes it damn hard for me to raise my three children. I know I sure as hell didn’t sign up for this shit. My babies were made with love, with the full expectation that I could focus my mothering on raising intelligent, thoughtful, kind, accomplished, loving human beings. Like her, I don’t think I should have to pay extra out-of-pocket expenses for housing, education, and dealing with the racism-induced emotional stress that comes with parenting Black kids. The same toll Cramblett will be paying to raise her Black child in this society was created, in part, by her own hand. Her privilege allows her to fix her mouth to demand compensation for that, while refusing to acknowledge that she helped create the very situations from which she now needs to run. Hell, I’m here for it. If she wins, Black mothers across the land can make the same case for their own children.

      • The thing that no one seems to be paying attention to here is that she does love Payton, and she is doing everything she can to raise her right. She’s planning to use the money from the lawsuit to move to an area where her child will not experience scorn our constant racism. Her concerns are not with having to raise a black child, but with her child having to live in an area where not only does she not have role models that she can identify with, but also she is practically abhorred by those around her. Whether or not this woman agreed with the others in her community before Payton was born has absolutely no bearing on the current situation. Right now she is simply trying to do her best by a child who she loves.

  19. I Must admit I understand her views, I mean mixed race people are seen by most to be some of the most desirable among our HUMAN Race why should she be saddled with such perfection! especially when half of that perfection, IS the product of her own biology!!! Yes she is disappointed, which to be honest, I would be and I wouldn’t be happy with a bowl of cornflakes if I asked for porridge. However we are talking about a child, if she doesn’t want her, please hand her over to those who long to share such joy so they can be happy, to watch her smile, crawl, cry, lose her temper, all of that and more. I’m continually angered by those that have and don’t want moaning like hell! If you don’t want please, give to those would walk under a bus for someone to be able love in a way that is totally new to them.

  20. Yikes, tough one! On one hand, the sperm bank’s error was inexcusable. From what I have read elsewhere, they do all of their record keeping manually, and this error was literally caused because somebody’s handwriting was sloppy and a “3” was mistaken for an “8”. That is insanely shoddy for such an important service, and they deserve to be punished for it. Just like heterosexual mothers choose their parenting partners based on a whole slew of factors, I’m sure more went into the decision to choose #380 than just his skin color. On the other hand (and as a mother) I could never in good conscience proceed with this lawsuit. The sperm bank might deserve punishment, but Payton doesn’t. My heart hurts thinking about the day she learns that mommies sued because they didn’t get the baby they paid for.

  21. My daughter is biracial and my father and his side of the family are racially intolerant. As a result, I have been discarded from his life. But I will tell you this, I would rather be discarded then worry about what he and others like him think about my daughter. My daughter is beautiful, and I am going to teach her about being open minded, compassionate, that being different is beautiful and unique and I am going to do my best to make sure she has the most positive, happy life ever. These women are lesbians in an already intolerant white neighborhood (I wager this same community dislikes homosexual couples as well)? How can they even worry about what this community thinks, when they tuck that beautiful child into bed at night and listen to her laugh? Love her unconditionally.

  22. I honestly don’t see the problem with her wanting to sue or any other problems she may have. The fact is this, when we decide to have kids, we have an idea and/or image of what we want our family to look like. Is there anything wrong with her not having planned on raising a mixed child? Absolutely not. It would have been absurd if she did plan that, especially while having no experience and not dating someone black. Why should she be bashed because she wanted a white child? She’s white. Her family is white. Her lover is white. If I were her, I’d be concerned about my child’s future as well. I don’t recall reading anything that said or implied she did not love or want her child. She didn’t say that she was unhappy with her baby. She is simply outraged that a company would make such a terrible mistake. This little baby is not an outfit. She can’t return it because it wasn’t what she envisioned and expected, not to mention, paid for. OAN: I believe she stated all of these things to help with her case. I don’t think that she feels any of these things in real life.

  23. If she feels like that give her up for adoption. I’m sure there is someone who will accept her as she is. I will pray for the little girl, Because GOD only knows what she will be subject to in that family. I hope child protection will make a regular trip to there house.

  24. Don’t be so quick to judge!! This mother doesn’t have the cultural tools to raise a child of a different race! She does have the right to sue the sperm bank because she has been put in a situation she was not prepared for and will have to adapt to; this learning-as-she-goes will have to be very delicately done because people who are intolerant (such as the folks in her town) will be adding intolerance to the situation while people like you will be questioning every move she makes as to whether or not they’re being sensitive to her race which shouldn’t matter in the first place!! Anyways, cut her some slack, she’ll probably make a fantastic mother.

  25. This has me so flabbergasted right now!! Im a white woman raising 2 bi-racial children….and trust me, I know that they are more then likely going to experience some things out there in the real world…that’s a sad fact, still in todays world…..and I do agree, that if she did pay for a white baby, then Good Grief, she should have that white baby…..but, honestly…..should it really matter? You’re a lesbian! People are SURELY going to notice that BEFORE they even realize you have a black baby on your arm…..But, I guess this is just your way to try and take the focus off of that in your life right now, and put all the focus on this beautiful Gift from God!?! And please don’t take that out of context….I do not judge any single person for the way they choose to live their lives….I could care less, honestly….But how dare these ladies!! I will pray on this one, tonight! SMH

  26. I have no issue, at all, with them suing the medical center that made a medial error. That medial center should pay for their mistake. It is your privilege speaking when you think that these mothers should bear the entire financial and emotional burden of a medical error because it seems unsavory to you. Just because the legal causes of action sound distasteful to you doesn’t mean that the corporation who committed medical errors should not be sued. There is a financial burden to moving (which, of course there is a difference balancing between the real-life costs involved in moving away from a racist community and the real-life costs involved in living in a racist community when you have a black child). There is emotional distress involved in raising a black child in a racist community – an emotional cost that they (and their daughter) were exposed to due to a medical error. To just blindly judge these parents for trying to hold a medical center accountable for their medical error is so, so, so judgmental.

    • Um, you do realize I’m a Black woman with Black children, right? Are you really trying to school me on the costs of raising a Black child in a racist society? Like, for real?

      • I’m not trying to “school” you. But just because you’re a Black woman with a Black child doesn’t mean that you’re perfect and infallible on this matter.

        • I’ve never, ever once in my life proclaimed to be perfect about anything. But one thing I am quite sure I’m an expert at is understanding how hard it is to raise Black children in American. Surely, your comment isn’t telling me anything I haven’t been slapped with over the last 15 years.

          • I think that the difference is that you made the choice to have children knowing that they would be black and understanding how hard it is to raise them. These ladies were not offered that choice. I think that they love their daughter and should be left alone.

          • Yes, obviously, I knew my children would be African American, but I had no idea, quite honestly, how hard it would become to raise them. I’m 46 and my oldest is 15, and there are days I’m STILL shocked by the foolishness my family faces because of the color of our skin. No one is ready for it. No one makes a choice to walk into racism. We make choices to have children. Society makes the choice to treat us differently because of our skin color. I don’t know those women so I can’t tell you if they love their daughter or not. What I can say, though, is that their lawsuit wreaks of privilege, is insulting to me as a Black mother, and sets up their daughter for a lot of hurt when she realizes their demands.

  27. It wasn’t about race at all… they are suing because the place that handles the donors mixed something up. They wanted their kids to have the same donor… therefore have the same “father.” But when they went back to have their second child they were told there was a mix up.

  28. I’m ok with the law suit only due to the fact of negligence from the sperm bank. But the other stuff is a bit much. All I know is I’d be pissed if I got the wrong donor. I’m Puerto Rican and I have African in my heritage. My boyfriend is black and my kids are mixed. But if I was single and wanted a baby and got the wrong donor I’d be mad and want all the money I gave them back.

  29. I would have make them take their screw up back and get things right! If you want a specific father, you should get it!

    • That is a baby and not a screw-up! That baby has half her mother’s DNA as well…this is when things start to get real scary because the little baby is a person and she should be seen as more than just a product…so I dare to ask, if it was your own baby would you be able to give her back? I would want my money back from the procedure, as would anyone, I imagine, but my baby would still be a part of me and it would get all the love that I have to give…

  30. Your perspective is spot-on, Denene. As is your scathing command of the verbs, etc. What a “Yes!!!” moment in reading not only another (embarrassingly) insightful piece from you, but also the ensuing dialogue that underscores the intensity of bigotry in the world today. For all of the steps forward we’ve taken as a diverse species, there is still that backwards crawl through the mud. Thanks for your keen surveillance. Amen to thoughtfully, intelligently and shrewdly!

  31. i am a 31 biracial woman. these women love their daughter. they should be commended not put down. they are doing there best and they deserved to get what they paid for..a child that resembled them..they know nothing of blk culture or life but they are adjusting. they are not racist and the fact that any of you can even say that is insane. god bless these women.

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