By NICK CHILES
With all the fuss over Beyonce’s body after she pushed out baby Blue Ivy, I’d like to take a moment to talk about all the yummy goodness that was my wife’s post-pregnancy body.
I understand that women spend years of anguish fighting with that baby weight, cursing their reflections in every mirror within miles. But that is not necessarily the way this goes down in the husbandly mind.
Even to this day, a decade later, the thought of my wife’s post-pregnancy body brings a smile to my face. I think men are biologically wired to be drawn to things that are soft and round and smooth and full and thick and ripe and…well, I think you get the picture. Yes, after she had carted around a human being for nine-plus months, my wife’s midsection was not the same washboard that it was when we got married—when I used to think it was so small that I could almost get my hands around it. But the extra weight around the stomach was just a mere trifle compared to all the wonderful things that had happened elsewhere.
The hips were fabulously rounder, fuller, curvier. (Anytime you can use the word “curvier” to describe one of your body parts, it can only be a good thing.) These post-baby hips just cried out to be hugged, admired, grasped. And since this is a family-oriented site, let me not even get started on the thicker thighs and rounder butt. All of these changes were not just accepted but welcomed, celebrated.
But no change was greeted with more fanfare in my house than the bigger boobs. While she has always been curvaceous and sexy as hell, before the babies my wife was never overly endowed in the boob department. But after the pregnancy? I didn’t think such transformations were possible without surgery. It was like a magnificent boob fairy had swept into our bedroom while we slept and waved a magic wand over her. At first I thought, Well, surely these are breast-feeding boobs, my child’s new food pantry. Once the breastfeeding is over, they go back to their previous form, like Cinderella after midnight. But that’s not what happened. They never got small again. Who said every day can’t be Christmas?
You might wonder if my perceptions about my wife’s desirability, her enhanced voluptuousness, were clouded by the many months of forced celibacy. Fair question. But let me tell you that these feelings never went away, even after we once again re-established the marital bed. Her body, in its many different forms, has always remained my friend, my playground, my inspiration. Perfection has never been a standard that had any relevancy for me. The belly grew, then shrunk, then grew again, then shrunk again, and by the end of the process of having two kids, of course it didn’t look like it did in the early days. But it was still beautiful to me. It has never stopped being beautiful.
As Beyonce gazes into the mirror—maybe with a recent image of Rihanna dancing in her head—she too will probably yearn for what she used to be. And with the help of chefs and trainers, she very well may get back to it. But if she doesn’t, something tells me her husband, a certain rapper who goes by the name of Jay-Z, will be just fine with that.
1. The #Flawless12 Project (Day 1): Learning To Love What I Look Like In the Morning
2. Photos Of Mariah Carey’s New Post-Baby Body! Let’s All Feel Craptastic We STILL Have Our Baby Weight!
3. Beyonce’s “Maniac” Work While Pregnant: Please, Baby—Slow Down!
4. Jay-Z’s Song For Blue Ivy Carter Is A Touching Tribute To New Parenthood With Beyonce
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.
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Nick… YOU ROCK!!!
Denene… YOU GO, GIRL!!!
I WAS SO TAKEN BY THE STORY THAT I SPELLED MY OWN NAME WRONG… OSORIO…LOL!
BRAVO for being, without one shred of doubt … a REAL man!
They broke the mold with you in so many ways. Thank you for such a wonderful, heartfelt, HONEST post. I think I love you!
Blessings to you, your lovely wife and family
Now that’s a REAL man speaking!
She looks better then ever, freaking fantastic!
Does Nick have a single brother that thinks the same way? Love this!
Nice, real nice. I’m 19 weeks right now … wonder if my husband is thinking the same thing 🙂
As my main man Musiq Soulchild would say:
“The answer is Yeeeesss!”
I like this very much. Makes me know that having a kid may not be soooooooooo bad on my body. If I am blessed with the experience I will read this post for encouragement. Thanks!!!
I love this!!!!
This was amazing to hear esp. after waking up this morning and finding another dress I can no longer fit into. I have always been tiny and I am still comparatively small, but my body is not what it used to be and I was starting to feel some kind of way about it. Just last night I was showing my husband pictures of a personal trainer and he told me he DID NOT want my body to be like that, he told me honestly loves the way my body is now! You guys sound like you’re cut from the same cloth, so two kids later while I’m getting accustomed to the new skin I’m in, he’s relishing it!
So appreciate you for this story.
Nice tribute to Miss Denene! Love it!
The boobs really are the best part of the post-preggo body. Unfortunately, mine went back after my first two…now only 8 weeks away from delivering my third, here’s hoping the third times a charm!
And is it just me, or does Beyonce really not look that different? I think it’s easier to bounce back after first babies…it was for me.
Yea right she never had a baby but her surrogate did! 😉
One word: YES!!!
thank you for this post, it’s PERFECT! Although I cannot bear children and my kids came a different route, my body still has changed over the last 12 years of marriage due to hormones, age, lifestyle, stress, etc. This post validates what my hubby has been telling me over and over for SO long 🙂
And heaven knows that a woman’s guiding star should be what her man thinks about her body – not if she likes it or not. So if your wife wanted to get back to her small waist, it shouldn’t matter because you (whose opinion is the only opinion that matters) like her bigger.
I hope the posters at HuffPo rip you to shreds.
I’m not really clear what your problem is, but I happen to appreciate the fact that my man loves my body. Never once did he say that what I want doesn’t matter to him. But you know what? I love that he loves me mentally, emotionally and yes, physically, in all the many manifestations that my body has taken post-pregnancy. If that’s a problem for you, well I feel sorry for you, dear. But you need to keep your negativity over there on the HuffPo, m’kay?
plastic surgeryyyy .,. Beyonce natural lol dont make me laugh again…. fake fake
I love this article! I keep reading one after the other! Such rich content in this piece. My husband tells me that he does NOT want me to be as small as I was when we first met! I said “Fine, with me.” *Sophia from Color Purple voice* 🙂
LOL at the “Boob fairy” comment.
Wow what a wonderfully written article and what a wonderful love connection you guys share! I am a new blogger looking for other brown girls to gain inspiration from, so on my first time visiting and the first article I shared on my page from your site…you’ve made a def fan guys! Keep up the good work.
Hey nick i love this article!!! u’ve spoken like a true man…I as a woman appreciate what child birth did to my body (esp in the boob dept), and I know my husband appreciates it even more!
Powerful! What a wonderful take from the man’s point of view. We need to hear more stories like these!