Loving My Milkshake & My Pearls: A #Flawless12 Celebration Of My Physical Self

Boy, I’ll tell you this much: That Chatterbox Christie’s #Flawless12 campaign really has me digging deep—a little deeper, I admit, than I was ready to go, at least publicly. This particular stretch that she has us exploring—our physical attributes—is a real toughie, because she’s asking us to reveal what we and others think is beautiful about ourselves, something that all-too-many women, myself included, go out of our way to disregard. I raise my hand and admit to being the master of self-deprecation; I spent the first few decades of my life absolutely hating what I saw in the mirror and it’s only been recently that I figured me out—learned what I like about myself, how to accentuate it and how to be okay with looking in the mirror and saying, “Damn, girl—you look good.”

Still, giving myself a public pat on the back for being cute just seems, so… so… conceited. Arrogant. Vain. All the things that I am not.

I recognize, though, that there is great value in being okay enough with myself to not only appreciate my cuteness but to say it out loud. Because if I don’t, then really, why would anyone else bother?

So today, I dig into Christie’s #Flawless12 challenges for Days 6, 7 and 8.

Day 6: What is your best feature as defined by someone else?

Hands down, my best feature is my curvy figure and derriere. Before Jennifer Lopez, Beyonce and Kim Kardashian made the world fall crazy in love with voluptuous, Coke bottle-shaped figures, my milkshake was drawing all the boys (and girls) to the yard. [Note: though most thought Kelis’s song referred to breasts, my personal interpretation was that she was referring to that thang that makes men swoon.] Black men love it. Black women know they do. And I got it. Power to the booty, y’all.

Day 7: What is your best feature as defined by you?

When it’s not on a pre-menopausal acne bender, I do adore my skin. It’s always been smooth, chocolatey and, up until now, bump free, and I think it’s especially stunning in the summer after a day kicking back outside, taking in some rays. When it’s hot out, I’ll strip down to my barest to get that sun-kissed chocolate bronze on my face, shoulders, arms and legs, and I’ll play it up with bright turquoise and hot pink so that my skin pops. My skin has always been pretty enough to go makeup-less, but lately, a combo of stress and hormones are giving my skin the business, so occasionally, a little concealer is a necessary evil. I still think it’s beautiful, though.

Day 8: Think about what you believe is your worst feature—and describe it as your best.

Hello, smile. We have a love/hate relationship, don’t we? Everyone else adores you and today, for kicks and giggles, I will, too. Despite that one tooth in the front that is discolored and slightly ajar, you are quite nice. Pleasant. At least that’s what everyone else seems to think. It most certainly makes everyone else happy—sends the signal that the person wearing it is warm and inviting and willing to entertain an exchange of pleasant words, a sweet hug, fun times—joy.  Mostly, that’s what I’ve used you for. But you hide things, too. Make people comfortable, even when your owner is not. Which can cause confusion. For them. Especially for you. How about we make a deal today, smile: I’ll find more reasons to really like you and use you for more authentic purposes if you save your beauty for those who deserve it. Let’s agree to work on that together, m’kay?

Join Christie in the #Flawless12 project! You can answer the prompts in any way that moves you—pictures, blog posts, videos, tweets, status updates, pins on Pinterest, whatever. Answer them publicly, answer them privately—answer all of them or one of them. It’s your choice. All about YOU. For more information, check out the #Flawless12 project here.


1. The #Flawless12 Project (Day 1): Learning To Love What I Look Like In the Morning
2. And Now, the Part Where My Daughter Starts Hating Her Bootylicious Butt
3. {Digging In the MBB Crates} Shining: What I Love About Me

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Denene Millner

Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.


  1. WOW! Now I REALLY liked this one…and can totally relate. I can dish it but I can’t take it…I have yet to answer Day 7 or 8 🙁 I applaud you for climbing out of your comfort zone to do this with me, my sister! Love you!

  2. I love your curves and your smile and your skin. Girl you are beautiful. I love how you caught up all in one blog.

  3. Denene you are absolutely beautiful for all the ways you describe and others. I silently adore my beautiful, deep, dark chocolatey skin. I enhance it and I really do love it (thanks Daddy, he raised me telling me how beautiful I was for that very reason). I say silently because I think it represents itself and is recognized and just sparkles without me needing to say a word.

  4. I can totally relate to this! I love my brown skin.

    I remember when we first met, I thought you were such a cute and beautiful lady. And yes I did say to myself, dang her butt is big. LOL.

    Never really noticed what you pointed out as flaws. Funny how the things we say to ourselves people never know. I think you are beautiful!!!

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