I am shaking, eyes filled with water, heart racing, alternately horrified, disgusted and absolutely pissed after watching the viral video of a father beating his daughters with cable wire for posting twerking videos on YouTube.
My girl Demetria Lucas Tweeted me about it a few days back, but I took my time reading the stories and writing about it on MyBrownBaby because, really, what more is there to say here about hitting kids? My thoughts on discipline and childrearing are well-documented: I do not believe physical punishment has a place in the way I’m raising my daughters. And hell yes, I judge other parents who hit their kids. (Be mad about that if you want to. It is what it is.)
Still, writer and friend-to-MyBrownBaby Britni Danielle e-tapped me yesterday about her Clutch story, “So It’s NOT OK to Hit Your Girlfriend, But Beating Your Daughter Is Cool?” and asked me to weigh in on her raucous Facebook thread, in which her friend and followers were making the argument for why it was perfectly okay for a grown man to use a thick, black cable wire to whip his daughters like they were in a scene from Django Unchained. For dancing and posting said dances on YouTube. My contribution to the discussion:
I’ll tell you this much, Britni Danielle: this is one scary ass thread. I will say this, though: I do not and will not ever believe in beating my children. I’m a smart woman. And a great mom. In my 13 years as a mother, I’ve used those skills to get my kids to do as I say and to be mannerable, smart, good children. Are they perfect? Hell no. Do they do some things that get them in trouble? Of course. They are human. Little human beings need to be TAUGHT how to be human. Does that require me to grab extension chords and leather straps and branches off trees to teach them a lesson and show them who’s boss? Fuck. No. Not. Ever. And I don’t mind saying it: my daughters are OUTSTANDING, without ever having been hit or cursed at. This is not up for discussion in my house or in response to this comment. Really, I have absolutely no patience, tolerance or time for the ignorance that comes with insisting that beating a child with an extension chord proves a parent “cares.” Britni: thank you for that thoughtful post. It’s spot on.
It wasn’t until this morning, though, that I actually watched the video. It. Hurt. Me. To. My. Core. For the life of me, I can not understand how a grown man can force two little girls into a corner and, with all his strength, mass and might, WHIP them like dogs while their blood-curdling screams and pleas rise thick in the air.
This man should be prosecuted. I hope to God, Sweet Baby Jesus, Yahweh, Oshun, Allah, Jehovah, Ma’at and Jah that someone recognizes his face and his voice and his YouTube channel and sends child authorities straight to his house so that he can be charged as the abuser that he is. And I pray that those girls get emotional healing along with their physical healing, too, and that someone steps up and becomes a real PARENT to those girls because, my God, what they have now is NOT it.
You want your girls to not do sexually suggestive dances? Talk to them about why dancing like a stripper or video ho is inappropriate for any woman, much less a young teenage girl. You want your girls to stop posting inappropriate mess on YouTube? Teach them how to use social media properly and the consequences that come from using it irresponsibly. (Clearly this father, who beat the crap out of his kids on a video that found its way to the internet might need some lessons on this one, too.) Want to punish them for their tomfoolery? Take away their phones, disable their cameras and bar them from the internet except for supervised schoolwork until they get it. That’s parenting.
I borrow liberally from one of Britni’s Facebook commenters, Tiyana Peters, by adding this: if your child is posting Twerking videos on YouTube, you’re failing as a parent. If you’re beating your child at 14, quite obviously, your barbaric childrearing tactics are not working. And if you are a grown ass, hulking man putting your back into beating little girls like they’re fresh off the Amistad, you’ve failed in life. That is not caring. That is not love. It is abuse. Period.
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2. A Reformed Spanker Reveals Why She Wishes She Would Have Spared the Rod.
3. Spanking, Time-Outs and the Soul Train Line: Getting To the Discipline That Works For Us
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Denene Millner
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.
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My parents never raised their hand at me, and we’re the same with our daughter. When she was born, we did get advice from others on scaring her with a belt and spanking her when she got out of hand, but it seemed so foreign to me to resolve one problem with another. She’s an amazing tween now – respectful, smart, and so open to discuss her concerns with us. I know all of that is because of the love we – as her parents – impart on her.
All. Of. This.
I’m not sure why we cling so tough to whooping kids. If it was THE most effective form of discipline you wouldn’t have to hitting them into their teens.
Keep doing the good work, D.
Wow! What can a person say after viewing and witnessing such a controversal situation. I feel bad for the children; but I also feel bad for the dad. Yes, you read correctly. I feel bad for the dad even though he was doing the beating. It is clear to see he corrected his children’s behavior as his parent had corrected his bad behavior as a child. I’m not shocked at the whipping (well I’m not). I got a couple of those types of butt whipping myself and one of them was from my grand-mother.
Yes, my grand-mother tore my butt up! It was a Louisiana mid Summer evening, I was up on a hill trying to impress a boy (that was a cousin) and I was cussing up a storm. My grand-mother heard my big mouth. She walked up that hill and took me home. Lord have mercy! When I got in the house she pulled out several dried twigs and began to whip my butt. She tore the bottom half of my body up! I had whelps everywhere! Everywhere! The next day I was sitting out on my granddad’s tractor showing my wounds. She yells out of her kitchen window “if you do it again I am going to whip you again!” Let me just write, I never cussed again until I was way pass grown! I miss my grand-mother. Though her method to correct bad behavior by modern-day parents and grand-parents is considered abuse, I later came to understand she loved me. She loved me enough to teach me self-respect, hence, stopping me from going down the wrong road. My grand-mother is dead now but lord I miss that old woman!
So, my heart goes out to everyone in the video. I realize the father took the wrong road to correct his children BUT at least he tried to correct them. Sadly many of our young are going without behavioral correction. Worse yet, because children are going without correction the school classrooms have become juvenile detention centers. Therefore, in the parent’s defense since he is whipping butts it is clear to see he wants better for his daughters. And remember it does not become abuse until he leaves a mark. I have never known anyone that is getting whippings to laugh.
I wholeheartedly agree. I think we live in Worldstarhiphop mentality and people find this funny. It isn’t. That man lost his mind on those girls and might need to lose custody too. While I think their twerking was out of pocket, the methods you describe above should suffice. This brutality though, is not as disturbing, as its defense.
I can’t bring myself to watch the video. These things hurt my heart–I think because I believe that parents who are so willing to break their children physically are probably breaking them emotionally as well.
All I can say is he better not be their STEPdaddy (or mama’s BF)! Even if he is their bio-Dad, that was a BEATING — and it was horrible to watch. My husband and I disciplined our children, sometimes with spankings — but not like this. This lends itself to ABUSE. I believe it will only be a matter of time before this man is identified and charged.
BTW, who filmed this and posted it??? Surely, someone will recognize those girls and they’ll be ragged about it forever. This is just terrible.
I can not bring myself to watch the video either. I’m so over the “we need to whoop our kids” or “i’m a product of____” STOP making excuses! Learn something, try something different stop beating on your kids and then wonder why they are beating on other people.
I am in totally agreement with you Gloria. I look at parents that beat on their kids as over grown bullies. How can you beat on someone smaller than you and cannot fight back. I once saw a parent hit his kid in a store; so I showed him how it felt.
I’m going to be talking about this on my radio show tomorrow… I believe this man needs counseling. MOST children just need a good talking to and shown a better way to behave. Taking time and teaching children DOES produce good results. I NEVER had to raise a hand on my children. We have always talked about and come to a resolve on their behavior and it works. If they still don’t learn we start doing punishments and on purpose cause situations to happen to them that will teach them the very lesson we teach. Slaves beat us and we beat our kids… sad but true!
I meant to say, “We were beaten as slaves, and now we beat our kids like slaves…”
We are a wounded people in need of serious healing. We have been disenfranchised so long, we now do it ourselves; keeping us from growing, changing, evolving and moving forward. Our definition of ‘black’ culture is so narrow that it we cling to pathological behaviors (imposed on us in the past) and reject what is better or healthy for fear it’s ‘white’. Its time we lived Martin’s dream: being judged by “the content of our character” not just the color of our skin. Anyone who justifies or supports this type of discipline is color-struck. You dont want to condemn the behavior just because he is a black man & this is all too acceptable in our community. But really look at this, in and of itself, & it is clearly abuse. Period. God Almighty heal us & help us learn & do better.
Right on Pop. Whip that butt. I bet they wont dance on the pole when she gets older. She will be too scared her dad will come in and catch her. it is not always true that when you whip your child you also abuse them mentally. To put a dance video out like this shows people you did not really think about it 1st or just don’t care what your parents may think. good going DAD!
Actually Johnny the absolutely will be dancing on poles when they get older. They will also likely date men that beat them. he did not whip butts he abused those girls who obviously are desperate for validation which is likely why they posted a video of themselves on FB being sexually suggestive. These are girls desperate for validation and instead he gave them violence. How has violence been serving our kids?
I agree 100%. I’m glad my parents woop my butt as a child. It kept me out of jail and never in trouble. I give my parents the up most respect. If more of these bad ass kids got this treatment it would be less CRIMINALS.
Really..they needed just what they got..I bet they will think twice before they ever place a video of themselves on you tube twerking again. That is not child abuse…
Proverbs 13:24 Whoever spares the rod hates their children, but the one who love
Their children is careful to discipline.
I did not look at the video yesterday. I looked at it today and it pisses me off. Yet another man who is blaming his daughters for the way men have sexualized women for years. And how does he fix this? He beats them like he has no kind of sense and films it and publishes it. A$$hole! Instead of looking at why they would do this, he lashes out and beats them like he has no kind of sense. I hope they find him and charge him. I am not approving of the girls dancing like that, but why are they doing it? What has he done to improve their opinion of themselves? Nothing.
Oh my goodness! I hadn’t heard about this before I saw your FB post Denene. I’m a mom of two daughters and I have not ever had to hit my daugthers. And all of my clients who observe our interactions are so amazed at how well behaved they are and how we have a very logical relationship. You hit it on the nail at if your daughter is twerking on Youtube that you have failed as a parent. All I have to do is look at my daughters a certain way and they are in tears apologizing for what they have done wrong. Guess what? It’s because I’ve raised them to talk to me and to expect to talked to like a human being and exchange reason. I don’t even want to look at the video.
The video is heartbreaking! I’ve been reading this celebrate calm website and it has given me an entirely new perspective on discipline.
The first step is, controlling ourselves as parents first and foremost!
Give yourself a timeout before reacting to each and every action performed by our children!
It’s better to think before reacting to avoid regrets later on!
Always be mindful of the memories we are creating for our children. Do we want them to grow up repeating cycles of abuse???
I would hope not. This video truly breaks my heart.
As an adult, I can still remember beatings I’ve received as a child.
Please! Believe me when I tell you, beatings such as these , stay with you for life! I haven’t had a chance to read all of the comments!
This is a great conversation to have and learn from one another in love and understanding without the judgements of course! 🙂
As someone who was beat by his MOTHER much the same way but exponentially worse, I definitely know getting hit, especially with a cord can be very painful, both mentally and physically (I actually still have a scar on my arm from one of my childhood beatings, and Im a 30 year old man).
Now there seems to be an underlying theme here of man beating woman, and that’s something I don’t agree with. Men just shouldn’t hit a woman, unless he is defending himself. My FATHER never hit me, because in my family, men didnt hit women and children. Still, what would be said if this was a mother beating her daughters or a mother beating her son?
I have never laid my hands on a woman, nor do I think kids need EXCESSIVE beatings to learn a lesson, However as one who grew up with these beatings, I know some of them were well deserved. My mom most of the time gave me fair warning when doing wrong with phrases like “Im’ma bust your water if you keep it up!” Still, I continued and she kept good on her promise. Evidently all of my friends that NEVER received a good ole’ whippin (again all of them boys) ended up in trouble with the law, selling drugs, and just doing wrong.
All in all, I personally think there is nothing wrong with a butt whippin when fair warning is given. You can try to connect it to slavery, call it child abuse, or whatever, but I think it works as a FINAL RESORT (final as in, when all else fails).
This man has been arrested on child abuse charges. He left open wounds on the thighs of his daughter. The link below has a video of the tv news report.
http://tommysotomayor.net/?p=14110
FATHER indicted for beating daughters http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2013/04/father-indicted-for-twerking-beating/
I know I’m not the only person, that agrees with the dad….Beat they ass again! Cord, Trees, Dishrags, or Belt…I got my ass whipped, it made me respect myself, parents, teachers, and my elders! The kids today is missing out on a well beat ass!
AMEN!!!!!!!!! And I were him, when I come out of jail I would beat their ass AGAIN!
I agree with the father. More parents need to correct their kids. I bet they will not be a teenage pregnancy statistic.
It goes beyond us applauding parenting this is all about how we view black women and girls. The fact that people are automatically assuming they’re gonne be future strippers and ratchets is the proof in the pudding. Do we accuse young black boys who wear hoodies and sagging pants as being future thugs, gangbangers and rappers? Of course we don’t, we tell them society is just generalizing you because you’re a black male you’re not harming anyone. There is not one single video of white girls or white women, non-black girls or non-black women being exposed to violence by the men in their community and people telling them “They must have did something” “They deserved it”. If you can find it prove me wrong. The black community is the only community that celebrates violencre against their women because we’ve internalized negative perceptions about black women. I didn’t see Billy Rae Cyrus beat the hell out of Miley for going the route she has and twerking on camera. If he did he’d get dragged through the soil just like that white judge that beat his teenage daughter. We don’t suggest violence to teach black boys a lesson, we don’t suggest violence to teach white women and non-black women a lesson. We don’t suggest violence to so call “tame” anyone but black women and animals. It’s pretty disgusting.
We’ve reduced black women so low to the fact that a certain dance has made people develop warped views about us. A dance! Not a gun, not fighting, not killing or activities that harm people but a dance. These girls were beaten for dancing and their father applauded because we assume they will become strippers and whores that’s the generalization people have developed of black women.
Somehow seeing a black man whom we identify with power, leadership and strength put a black woman in her place by using excessive force restores many people’s faith in humanity, which is sad. But it also exposes the sexism, misogyny and still very structured male Patriarchy in the black community which is driving black girls and women away.
SOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!
Ummm these young ladies shot the twerking video in Church! I don’t think he should have whipped them with a cable cord, but they needed their butts whipped for disrespecting God’s house like that. They are old enough to know better!
Lawd, twerking in church? In that case, they should have been crucified on the cross. O_O
Obviously, I’m being facetious. According to the police, the girls were not beaten for twerking on YouTube; they were beaten for sneaking out of the house. Which, by the way, though absolutely wrong for a child to do, does not warrant being beaten with a cable wire by a grown man.
Great job sir. Until someone comes up with the 100% full proof plan on how to effectively discipline your children, I agree with this Father’s method. This is one address I won’t have to be called out to because the parents don’t want to stand up and discipline or are too afraid of their children, instead of it being the other way around. I hope the district attorney doesn’t step in and allow this man to be a Father.
This is a spectacular commentary on this disgusting incident. I agree with every point you made. 100%. Well said … and thank you so much for saying it.
Parenting Magazine editor Sabrina James also wrote about this (on the comments there is how I found out about your piece here). SO glad the both of you are calling this out!!! Here is what she said: http://www.parenting.com/blogs/true-mom-confessions/sabrina-james/twerking
This story has touched a lot of nerves. My two cents: 1) I got spankings as a child, but my father NEVER put his hands on me. 2) I got spankings as a child – not a tween. If you are still spanking your kids past the age of 10, you went wrong somewhere in that past decade. 3) Spankings – like all discipline – should be about correction, not punishment. In this case, the father should have gone to the root of the problem – the sexually explicit things his daughters were doing, or the safety issues involved in sneaking out at 12 and 14. A beating is not going to change behavior – it’s going to lead to ingenuity about how not to get caught. My little ones are still little, so I can’t speak for having tweens or teens. But the most I will do (and I understand some folks think this is still too far and will judge me) is use a wooden spoon on their hands as a last resort in the spirit of correction, because little ones cannot always be talked to into correcting their behavior. But my oldest is 7 now, and I don’t imagine using the spoon on him ever again, because he is of the age that other consequences are very effective. In any case, beating any person with a cable cord is WRONG. It’s hard to imagine how folks can feel otherwise without assuming they are power-crazy sadists.
the man has been charged. the mother called the cops on him…just do a search and you’ll see.
this will NOT help the situation unfortunately cuz y’all know how the state treats black families.
Denene, I just stumbled across your blog from an anti-spanking Facebook page that linked to this blog post. You have articulated beautifully all the problems with this incident. My heart aches for those girls and this abuse. No one has the right to hit another person and it is terribly sad that any parent would think this was discipline – or teaching those girls anything. Thank you for sharing your voice.
This is totally disgusting! What’s even more disgusting are those who applaud it. Those girls will grow up and gravitate toward men who treat them like animals. I work in a school and already see the stage being set for domestic violence in young children. (Save your Bible verses because words have been added and omitted to the canon you are currently reading, but that’s a lesson for another day.)
I am sick and tired of people bragging about, condoning, and justifying violence in the home. Don’t get me wrong. I am NOT saying that you should not discipline your children. I am saying that you can punish your children without making them feel worthless. Let’s be honest here. Beating someone is fast, lazy, a power trip, and convenient. Some people enjoy inflicting pain on others, whether they admit it or not, because they are sadistic and abusive. If that describes you, own it. Don’t justify it.
I can bet any amount of money that this man will be the first one at the “Stop the Violence” rally, the first one to complain about “the man” having his foot on his neck, and the first one to show up for Bible study. We cannot continue to blame the violence in our community on someone else. Domestic violence starts at home. Physical and emotional abuse starts at home. Black on Black crime starts at home.
Being angry does not give you the right to treat someone like dirt. We have given our children permission to take their anger out on people in any form or fashion. In short, if you’re that type of parent, don’t complain about bullying. By your ACTIONS, you are one who said it was O.K. If you’re that type of parent, don’t complain about the violence in your neighborhood. By your ACTIONS, you are one who said it was O.K. If you’re that type of parent, don’t get upset that your child is in an abusive relationship. YOU set the stage for that relationship. Too many of our children are accustomed to chaos and they act accordingly. Everything has to be laced with drama and they will carry that nonsense into adulthood.
Have you noticed any violence in the headlines lately? Who are we to blame?
I love what your saying!!!!!!!! It’s so true!!!!!
It’s so nice to hear intelligent Black Women who Will NEVER condone this and now that this is wrong. I was on another website were most of the Black Women including those who own the site were cheering this ABUSE on and I as a man said the following: Don’t yall realize that this is a legacy from SLAVERY??!!?? Why on earth would you perpetuate that legacy. And some wonder WHY there is so much Domestic Abuse in the Black community! DA*N! I will NEVER Beat my daughters it’s a PUNCH B**CH that hits little girls! I encourage my wife to talk to them and my daughters are both in high school straight A’s and B’s and respectful per their teachers. No violence necessary; because that’s what it is. I hope that Punk goes to jail and has someone twice his size do to him, what he thought was ok to do to his own flesh and blood! I can’t believe all the woman on here that think this is Ok. Sad! Reminds me of a room of black people sitting up in the stands cheering while our little ones are attached by their own people. So DA*N SAD! Please break the cycle that we are animals and need to be hit. I’m sure everyone that comments, would tell you they’re intelligent, yet you don’t know how to discuss with a child about the error of their ways? You have to hit them? Sounds mentally unstable to me and then if the daughters get with men that beat them, you want to get upset, when that’s all you’ve shown them that they’re worth a BEATING! There are so many areas in Africa where the children are disciplined with words and not beatings, this is passed down from white people who were so evil they wanted you to feel less than nothing! And we wonder why so many of our children have self-esteem problems when we tell them they are WORTH a BEATING! Remember when you were young, all young people do things that are wrong. Talk to your children, it shows your own ignorance when you know NOTHING BUT VIOLENCE to solve a situation. Anything you do to your own children that you claim to love that you would be put in jail for if you did it to a stranger is ABUSE. PLEASE RISE UP, stop being stupid and saying “I turned out ok” Let’s rise as a people and implement the term “You Learn Better, You Do Better” Please break this disgusting cycle of slave masters!
Those Girls Needed their ass beat for shaking their ass on video for the whole world to see. As a Father, I would have done the some thing so they would think twice before doing such actions. It’s my job to keep my daughters off the striper pole.
Right. And the ONLY way to do that is to beat them with cable wire? Tell me this: isn’t it also your responsibility as a father to protect them and model for them how a man is supposed to treat a woman? So in your book, it’s okay for your daughters to be beaten mercilessly by a man, so long as they don’t strip? Oh.
I honestly think you can’t call yourself a role model as a mother or anything else if you openly say that you judge others for their lifestyles. That’s ignorant and you’re teaching your children to be close-minded at that. Just because it doesn’t work for YOU doesn’t mean it’s wrong and doesn’t make it any less effective than your own method of punishment. Every child may not respond the same to the simple “Stop that Chloe, don’t touch that or you’re going to time out”; sometimes it may take a spanking to get your point across. Maybe he could’ve just used a belt instead of a cord but the point is they needed to be punished and he did what he had to do. If you feel like your discipline skills are superior and feel like its more effective than an old-fashioned whooping, DON’T let me hear anything about your kids being in jail or getting caught stealing or skipping school or anything of that sort because right now what I’m hearing from you is that your lifestyle is the way to go. No disrespect, I’m just saying.
Ann,
I don’t judge people for their lifestyles. I judge people who choose to beat their children like animals—especially when they argue that it keeps their children out of jail or from being killed by the police or getting into trouble. Baby, don’t you know the jails are FULL of people who were beaten and abused by people who claimed that whoopings would keep them out of the jail cell/off the stripper pole/off the business end of a police officer’s gun? I find it downright laughable that everyone who claims beating the crap out of their kids thinks that disciplining without hitting begins and ends with gentle talking and time outs. Please, my God, what an insult. I’m talking about solid PARENTING here. Not the easy way out or extremes.
And about my kids: as I stated in the post, my girls are OUTSTANDING. But they are not perfect. They are human. And humans make mistakes. My job is to parent them, which includes teaching them, listening to them, applauding them, disciplining them and helping them understand when they’ve screwed up. None of this requires me to degrade and bring physical harm to them. No disrespect. Just saying.
I understand everything single thing you are saying, believe me. Forgive me if I came off too aggressive, but it just appauls me to see people be judgemental against others, I’m very against it. But anyway, the point is we all have our different upbringings and choose to discipline our children in different ways. This situation also shows why the Bible said not to punish your children out of anger because had not he whipped them in the height of his anger, maybe we wouldn’t be having this conversation. Beyond popular belief, spankings do not ALL result in a blood-curdling scream which is why I feel that spankings themselves should not be counted out all together, it just depends on the person and extent of the situation. This is an unfortunate situation which should have been kept private to begin with. It is what it is.
wow, your article disgusts me and is waaaay over-dramatic. It is the parents choice on how to discipline their children, not yours, or the governments choice…..get over it. You act like the kids were bloody and beaten…..
Um—they were bloody and beaten. The bloody open wounds on their legs were noticed by their mother, who in turn called the cops on the children’s father. He was indicted for abusing his girls. Why? Because it’s actually against the law to abuse children. (And if we disgust you here, please do feel free to hit that browser button. Truth be told, we don’t take too kindly to people who stomp onto the site without anything more intelligent to add to the conversation but the awfully juvenile “get over it.”)
WAS A WHIPPING DESERVED I DONT KNOW I WAS NOT THERE. SHOULD GIRLS BE ON THE INTERNET TWERKING HELL NO!!!!!! ACCORDING TO NEWS REPORTS THEY WERE BEATEN NOT WHIPPED THEY WERE BEATEN TO DUST FOR SNEAKING OUT OF THE HOUSE, NOT TWERKING. I DID SEE THE FATHER BEAT THEM ON THE VIDEO DO I THINK HE WAS WRONG HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT WHAT YOU DO ITS HOW YOU DO IT. HE WAS ALL THE WAY OUT OF BOUNDS, HE ABUSED THOSE KIDS. ANYONE ON HERE SAYING THAT GOT BEAT LIKE THAT AND THEY GREW UP OK, STOP LYING, AND YES YOU WERE BEING ABUSED. YOUR BEATING IS DIFFERENT FROM THEIRS AND HERE’S WHY. THE FATHER FIRST OF ALL BEAT THEM WHILE HE WAS ANGRY (PRETTY SURE YOUR PARENTS WERE ANGRY AS WELL) HE SHOULD HAVE CALMED DOWN AND THEN TOOK CARE OF BUSINESS. THEN THE IDIOT FILMED IT AND PUT IT ON FACEBOOK. SO IF THIS HAS HAPPENED TO YOU THEN YOU MUST HAVE TAKEN A BEATING LIKE THAT IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, FOR IT TO BE ON FACEBOOK FOR THE WORLD TO SEE, WHICH I HIGHLY DOUBT. THE BIBLE DOES SAY SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD. IT SAID NOTHING ABOUT USE THE ROD AND ABUSE YOUR CHILD. IT ALSO SAYS THAT PARENT SHOULD NOT PROVOKE THEIR CHILDREN TO VIOLENCE. THIS IS NOT GOOD PARENTING TO ME AND A WHOLE LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE. AND OH YEAH IF YOU PUT YOUR BUSINESS OUT IN THE OPEN THEN GUESS WHAT IT BECOMES EVERYONE ELSE BUSINESS ALSO. SO IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE JUGED ABOUT WHAT YOU DO TO DISCIPLINE YOUR CHILDREN THEN DO IT IN PRIVATE LIKE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO DO EVERYONE DOES NOT NEED TO SEE IT. IN THIS CASE IM GLAD THAT IT GOT OUT THERE, MAYBE HE HAS BEAT THEM LIKE THIS BEFORE. HE PROBABLY THOUGHT THAT BY DOING THAT HE WOULD HUMULIATE THEM EVEN MORE OR SHOULD I SAY ADDING INJURY TO INSULT. IT BACKFIRED NOW HE GONNA BE PUNISHED FOR BEING AN ABUSER AND A BULLY. MEN SHOULD TREAT THEIR DAUGHTERS AS LADIES, HE BEAT THEM LIKE THEY WERE PROSTITUTES. I HOPE THIS ALL TURNS OUT OK FOR THIS FAMILY.
If there is then you have not been as active and involved in your
child’s life and decisions as you should’ve or could’ve been. As long as the parenting plan is working within the curiosity of kids, there are no points or no problems. You might be anxious or scared or confused about setting limits and ultimately end up losing control.
Believe, if I had done what those girls did my dad would have whipped me too. Except I would have been naked and would have gotten 20-30. This was a beating not punishment. And the fact he was whipping them on their front was horrible. He might have got their boobs or privates! Or maybe that’s what he was trying to do. It’s just sick. You don’t beat your kids.
im a kid I am 11 and I watched that horrible video of a father beating his daughters and I was disgusted of his behavior I am glad I have a great and nice family(;
I’ll tell you right now, what he did was perfectly fine. Rather you can’t handle “whipping” your kids as a punishment, then so be it. You’re not the parents, and every one of us have different ways of doing it. He wasn’t just doing it for fun or pleasure, or to laugh. You have any idea how that man must feel, to see his daughters everyday after this? They deserved it, no matter what the age is. I feel more pity for any parent who has to keep their children in check and hold the burden of hatred, from their children just to ensure he knows he’s raising them right. That’s one of the toughest pain any parent can go through. They’ll always be in the middle. You’re either “Taking it too far”, or “Did the right thing”. Damn straight I’ll do what this man did everyday of my life, if I had to, just to ensure my daughters know they don’t ever need to be shaking their ass trying to be popular over facebook. How dare any parent here, say it’s “ABUSE”. Just open reminder, I’m not saying this is how you should deal with every problem that comes up, but this situation where you’re little girls are showing off their bodies online, you tell me how any real good parent would handle it. If you’re the parent that does allow it, well congratulations I hope you’re happy with older men using it as sexual video for their pleasures. Keep up the good work, with selling your childs body online and being up for grabs, for a kidnapping. (That’s the reality of the worse case). They’ll think twice before posting something sexual up on the internet ever again, because of the fear of their fathers wrath next time.
Why do you automatically assume that a parent who would not whip their children with cable wire would be so lax as to allow their children to post inappropriate things on the internet? Really? The only way you can parent a child is to whip them with inanimate objects? Oh. How about you parent your kids BEFORE they get to the point where they think posting videos on YouTube is a good idea? Where did they learn how to twerk in the first place? What music/videos/websites are they listening to and reading where they’ve gotten the idea that they should sexualize their bodies? If your girls are to the point where they’re doing inappropriate dancing on YouTube, newsflash: You’ve already failed as a parent. The hard work comes WAY before you get to the point where you feel like you have to beat your children. Come on, folks. Get your skills up. Seriously.
I’m sure the father will also think twice before he beats his daughter and post it on video. The father and the daughters are learning a lesson. If my daughter did inappropriate dances I would question myself as a parent and yes I would reprimand her but this dad went way over the top. Let’s see how he feels once he’s out of jail.
Stories like this are so sad.
It may be difficult to believe, but some children, not understanding why they are being punished or disciplined, take a different lesson from such a situation (than what the parent intends). They learn that it is acceptable to communicate with violence. It would appear this is more common with boys.
Where to start…
I’m the eldest(30) son of a Guyanese mother and Virgin Island Dominican father,and I have a younger brother(25). Growing up getting beat with a belt/slapped/yelled/embarrassed in front of friends was the way things were.Period. Being first generation american kid(growing up in the states), my parents were poorly accustom to the american education system, taboos of child rearing. Growing up I’d “get it” for just about anything…and I did. Making what this father did to these girls laughable in comparison. Looking back on it now as an adult, it was purely physical/verbal/emotional abuse(which my mother confided to me as an adult). Period. People have to understand…parents that punish their kids physically don’t just do it once or twice…It’s probably the default course of action of punishment. And as I child…I honestly thought it was what happened to all kids. As a young adult I learned quickly how I was raised wasn’t the norm for most. Period. My father was(still is) and uneducated, unreasonable, and a text book narcissist. My mother finally divorced my father once I graduated H.S. (because she was abused by him too) and was able to raise my brother without the ‘craziness’ in the house.
The point I’m trying to make is…as my mother would say after my dad did something crazy to us was…”he doesn’t know any better”. Parents that consciously or unconsciously abuse their children do it because ‘they think’ they are in the ‘right’. Not knowing how to communicate and express their reasoning for being upset with their children is the problem. Especially when the culture (black people culture) reinforces the behavior. Like it’s bloodie cool!; And their kids will be thankful for the beatings ‘one day’. The girls and father of this topic are part of backward american black culture. Their friends, music videos,music, etc…think ‘twerking’ is cool; bounce that a$$. The father was like ‘not my f’in kids’! The father probably didn’t notice the slow transformation of his children into booty pooping, urban(hopefully not ghetto) kids. The father(and mother?) probably accepted the influence of ‘american black hip/hop culture’ into their home. Beating your kids(anyone really) as ‘normal’ form of punishment is a pure sign of ignorance. Especially when the kids are teens and old enough to understand what’s going on around them. He might be keeping them off the stripper poll, but alienating them, and destroying the family unit is the COST!
My brother and I don’t associate with my father anymore. He is borderline estranged. It sad too, because it could have been different if he listened,reasoned, and ‘seriously’ consider the consequences; but what parent thinks they actually need to ‘heed’ the warnings ‘don’t beat your kids/spouse’. So I feel sorry for the kids, and the father. But I’m happy the father got burned by the video, because that’s what is lacking in black america today. Public SHAME for lack of educated parenting. Public shame for thinking you can beat your kid(s)/wife(s) without having to answer to your own conscience,law or anyone else.
Hopefully this father will learn and not wake up one day estrange from his family. If he doesn’t want to slow down and communicate/build a better relationship with them now….it might be too late one day.
I’m done….
I’m late to this article, but D I am LOVING all your classy replies to IGNORANT comments. Beating is not ok, ever. EVER. So thankful the hubs and I have agreed on this in raising our 3-we do so many other tactics, removing privileges, toys, access to friends, etc. It works. Granted, we both have tempers, and children are frustrating, but the most it ever comes to is some slammed doors and yelling. And yes, he was severely beat as a child, as in ‘go cut a switch so I can beat you until you can’t sit down’. Makes me sick. And we have dealt with those issues resulting from that kind of childhood, and it took him a long time to grow up. And no, beatings didn’t keep him on ‘the straight and narrow’. Beating your daughter is not going to keep her off the pole. I didn’t watch the video, I can’t. I can’t watch that stuff without wanting to run and rescue those babies 🙁