Before I hip Beyonce to the second baby game, I need my second baby, my little Lila, to know this one true thing: she was wanted, made from love and the product of lots of plotting and planning and prayer—truly a gift from God.
That said: Bey, girl, get ready. First babies are sweet and sugary and all kinds of good good, but Sweet Baby Jesus In the Manger: second babies are no joke. I got pregnant with my Lila two years after my Mari was born, just days before September 11. Already exhausted with being a mom to a toddler, a wife in a relatively young marriage, a full-time working mom and an author and freelancer in the little bit of spare time that I had, moving with a baby in my belly was… difficult. Yes, that’s what I’ll call it: difficult. Even though I knew what to expect, so many things were different with Lila: whereas I was young and energetic during most of my first pregnancy, my second just made me feel worn out—stressed, tired, fat. Concerned, especially, how I was going to balance it all.
Nobody warned me. And all that free and unsolicited advice I got with the first pregnancy? Yeah, nobody could be bothered with my second.
And so if it is, indeed, true that you’re pregnant with your second (I have no access to your sonograms and Jay-Z allegedly denied a second Baby Carter is on the way, but rumors that Blue Ivy is about to be a big sister are at fever pitch, so roll with me for a MyBrownBaby minute) there are some things you’re going to have to get ready for if and when you do have a second baby. To know. No lie.
I got you girl.
Here, Top 20 Things I Want Beyonce To Know About Becoming A Second-Time Mom:
1. Remember when nobody could tell you were pregnant until you were damn near heading into the third trimester? Right. Say hello to the “belly pop” at about three months.
2. Oh, and say goodbye, too, to your ankles, that cute pregnancy glow and any semblance of energy. You were super cute pregnant the first time just because. The second time? Right.
3. Cuddling the toddler while the other baby is wrapping toes around your ribs and pressing on your lady parts is… interesting.
4. So is trying to convince Numero Uno that she should be totally cool that she’s about to be dethroned. Don’t expect Blue Ivy to play nice. Start prepping her with the “being a big sister is awesome” spiel now to help avert the new baby sibling choke-out later.
5. Don’t make any plans for that second baby shower. You’ll be lucky if Grandma Tina and Solange come up off a gift.
6. When the baby is born, you’ll go through diapers a little more sparingly. As in, “really, she won’t die if she pees in that one a second time.”
7. Same goes for germs. Let’s just say the “Five Second Rule” for Blue Ivy’s pacifiers morphs easily into the, “I Know It Fell Underneath the Refrigerator and the Dog Licked It, But the Baby Will Be Just Fine” Rule for Baby No. 2. It is what it is, kid. Think of it as an awesome boost for the immune system. Yup! *in my Jay-Z voice*
8. “Doc McStuffins” marathon? Heck yeah. How else is an exhausted mom of two supposed to get some rest?
9. No, babies aren’t supposed to watch “R” rated movies and yes they should be sleeping in their own beds at a decent hour, but if Jimmy Fallon and The Roots aren’t knocking around, you’re totally good.
10. Remember when you swore the “Cry It Out” method would be the death of you and your baby? Uh huh. Second baby + A few teary nights = Sane mommy + Trained baby who goes the eff to sleep.
11. Hand-me-downs are awwwwesome! Especially if the babies are the same sex.
12. You’ll potty train like a champ, yo.
13. But your poor kid is going to come up really short on those baby pictures. And special Jay-Z songs written off full hearts, fresh out of the labor and delivery room. Useful tip: tell the new baby the camera was broken. And daddy couldn’t get studio time. Or something.
14. Don’t worry about that second baby baby weight. We all get it. And keep it.
15. Mommy/Daddy sexy time? Uh huh. I hope you got some real fond memories of those pre-baby days, circa “Crazy In Love.”
16. Thumbs up to the two-baby booty, though.
17. Triple the amount of time it takes to get out the door. Triple that if you’re having another girl.
18. Meeting the physical and emotional needs of two kids at the same damn time will feel like you’re trying to guard Lebron James and Dwyane Wade by your damn. Know that you cannot win. But eventually, they’ll know and respect you tried. Maybe.
19. Know, too, that Blue Ivy will by Jay’s project over the next few years; keeping the first one happy, occupied and sane becomes his top priority while you tag team with the little one.
20. You’ll be fine in no time. So will your man and your babies. No matter how crazed you feel, looking into those two sweet faces will erase every… single… bit… of… tomfoolery that comes with raising two kids. Pinky swear.
1. Beyonce Is People’s World’s Most Beautiful Woman 2012—and She Says Blue Ivy Made It So
2. Beyonce’s First Time Out With Blue Ivy Carter: Remembering the Newborn In Public Jitters
3. Beyonce’s “Maniac” Work While Pregnant: Please, Baby—Slow Down!
4. Beyonce’s Post Baby Body is Round and Curvy —Just like We Husbands Like Them
5. Jay-Z’s Song For Blue Ivy Carter Is A Touching Tribute To New Parenthood With Beyonce
Mom. NY Times bestselling author. Pop culture ninja. Unapologetic lover of shoes, bacon and babies. Nice with the verbs. Founder of the top black parenting website, MyBrownBaby.